Adrift and Apart
by Kadi219
Summary: Raydor/Flynn - They've been together, apart, and adrift. They couldn't call it dating. Their relationship started long before they were ready to acknowledge it. They were waiting. A look at a relationship in motion. Possible spoilers up to episode 3x17 Internal Affairs.
1. Chapter 1

**Adrift and Apart**

**by Kadi  
>Rated: T<strong>

**Disclaimer: **This is not my sandbox. These are just my favorite toys. I promise to return them when finished.

**A/N:** This idea has been with me for a while. Like others, I can't help think that there was something going on with Sharon & Andy well before _Major Crimes_ began. The spark was there, and even Duff has stated it was always a possibility (See his recent Redditt AMA for those comments). It made me wonder if groundwork was being put placed to go a certain direction, but then with the decision to end _The Closer_, something else had to be done. So with all of that in mind, could something have happened between? If so, what did it look like? What happened to it?

This story spans the period of time from _The Closer_ to present. Spoilers for both series up to Episode 3x17 _Internal Affairs_. Specific episodes touched on are placed in parenthesis in the title of the chapter.

As always, special thanks to my awesome beta **deenikn8** who goes above and beyond! Any errors found are all mine. Also thanks to my girls, **kate04us **& **lontanissima** who put up with my muse... it's like a ferret on crack. We never know what it's going to do or where it's going to go...

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 - The Beginning (Old Money)<strong>

The first time that he kissed her it was a moment born in anger. They were furious at one another, frustrated, and in an instant, and before he could recognize what he was going to do, his mouth was covering hers. His hands were in her hair and soon his head was swimming with the taste of her, sweet, and a bit spicy, like cinnamon. It shocked him. He was completely astonished at his own actions. He had never considered laying hands on her before, and even if he thought she was an attractive woman, _touching _her was the last thing on his mind.

In those moments following that first kiss they stared at one another, wide-eyed and breathless, neither knowing what to say or how to react. The argument was immediately forgotten. It seemed completely unimportant in light of that new development. He couldn't even recall _why _he followed her to her office, or what had set him off. They had encountered each other in the elevator, each having found a spare moment on a quiet Saturday to finish moving belongings from the old Parker Center headquarters to the new Police Administration Building downtown. Amidst the boxes stacked in her office, angry words were given life, although the reason for them was now lost in a haze of surprise and heat.

He left her there. Too confused over his own actions and deciding that withdrawal was the better part of valor, he apologized for the moment and fled. He wasn't ashamed to admit running away. _She_ seemed keen to allow it.

_This never happened_.

Those were her words. He didn't much mind them. It was better for both of them if they just forgot it.

He tried. God only knew just how hard he tried to forget it, but the feel of her pressed against him was seared into his mind. The taste of her was emblazoned on his tongue. Every time he laid eyes on her, every time they were in a room together, he was reminded of it. It irritated him to no end. He struck out, sniping at her, more annoyed and angry at himself for acting like a randy twenty-year-old than he was at her. She annoyed him plenty on any given, normal day, but it wasn't her fault that he couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like to get his mouth on her again.

Or was it?

The second time that he kissed her it was outside of a crowded cop bar a few blocks from the office. They bumped into each other, quite literally, in the narrow hall that led to the restrooms. He was struck by the sight of her, hair falling in softer layers, and a sleeveless silk blouse tucked into a high-waisted black skirt. Her blazer was gone, and the blouse was thin enough that he could just make out the outline of her bra. His eyes were drawn to the sight, and when he looked down, he caught a glimpse of lace. That he looked, made her eyes narrow. The hiss she directed at him, as her lip curled, just made him smirk at her. The flash of emotion in her eyes had him curling a hand around her wrist and drawing her down the hall and out a side door.

He backed her into the side of of the building, pressed her into the brick as his head bent and he sought her mouth. This time, it was her hands in his hair, while his gripped her sides and drug her against him. He tried to tell himself that he was only kissing her to prove that it was nothing special, that the memory of it was made more intense by the fact that it was so forbidden. Or at least, it _should_ be forbidden. What he found instead was heat curling through him, and the discovery that she tasted even sweeter than he remembered. When she moaned against his mouth, he pulled her closer, let his hands slide down to cup her hips.

The sound of the door opening beside them had the two of them quickly breaking apart. It was her turn to flee. Fingers pressed to her lips, she hurried back inside and sought the sanctuary provided by being surrounded by members of her team and other colleagues from Professional Standards. He followed at a more sedate pace, returned to his own table, and the cranberry and soda his partner had already ordered for him. His gaze kept finding her in the crowd, and more than once, he found her looking at him. She was wary, and he saw the same question in her eyes that was running on a constant repeat in his head.

_What the hell were they doing_?

When she left, he made excuses to his companions and followed her. It was an odd compulsion, at least given everything that he knew about their history and their present relationship. They could hardly stand one another, and wasn't it only a few days ago that they argued? He was drawn to her. She was a flame and he was a moth.

He caught up to her as she was unlocking her car. He took her keys out of her hand and announced that he was driving. Her eyes flashed again, but he caught her mouth in a third searing kiss before she could argue with him. _Get in the damned car_, he practically growled it at her, and palmed her keys as he maneuvered her around the vehicle and into the front passenger seat.

He glanced at her, several times, as he pulled into traffic. He could feel her gaze on him. The wariness was back. She was as unsure of him as he was of her, but she seemed just as drawn. She wasn't fighting him, and she wasn't fleeing. Not this time. When she gave him her address, she spoke so softly that he almost didn't hear it, but the silence in the car caught her words, and he pointed them in the direction that she indicated.

It was a silent drive, with not another word spoken between them. The air in the car was thick. It was electric and heated. His finger tips tingled, his palms itched. From the corner of his eye, he watched her clasp her hands together. A thin, but deeply drawn breath had her chest rising. The sight of it had his jaw clenching.

The drive itself felt as though it lasted forever, but only minutes passed before he was pulling the car into the parking garage. She directed him toward her assigned spot, voice still soft, and god help him, just a bit breathless. After they were parked, she didn't wait for him to open her door for him. They both left the car at the same time. They stood in silence, staring at one another across the top of the vehicle. Minutes continued to tick by, measured in quick breaths and pounding hearts. When finally she moved, it was to walk, wordlessly, toward the door that would take them inside the building.

He followed, and his eyes appreciated, not for the first time, the way her hips swayed as she walked. His gaze was drawn to her legs, and he was reminded that he had admired them before. Yes, he thought her attractive, but the thoughts he was currently entertaining had never crossed his mind before.

He managed, by sheer force of will, to keep his hands off of her as they strode across the lobby of her building. In the elevator, his hands itched again. His jaw clenched while heat licked at his center. He watched her from the corner of his eye and was pleased that she seemed just as bothered. She wore an impassive mask, but he watched her toy with the strap of her purse and draw her bottom lip between her teeth. Her eyes were fixated on the digital counter above the door that was slowly counting the floors until finally the elevator stopped, and they were allowed to leave its confines.

As they made their way down the hall, she searched blindly in her purse for her keys. They were in her hand when they reached the door. He reached around her, fingers igniting at the contact as he pushed her hand aside and turned the lock himself. His arm circled her waist as the door was pushed open in front of them. He drew her flush against him as they moved inside, enough so that he could kick the door closed behind him.

Her purse and her jacket, and the keys, those damned keys, were all tossed aside the moment that they were enclosed in her apartment. There were boxes lining one wall, and the smell of fresh paint still hung in the air. New, he thought, and not quite lived in yet. It was a thought that was pushed aside when his head lowered and his mouth traced the length of her neck.

If he thought that he could have her just one time and forget about it, he was wrong. In hindsight, thinking was probably the one thing that he _should_ have been doing that night, but it was as if his mind shut off completely. Instead he found himself lost in a cloud of heat and desire, in the feel of soft lips and questing hands.

They thought that, like that first kiss, they could get it out of their systems and forget it. He would never forget the feel of her legs wrapped around him that first time, or the sound of his name wrought from her lips as her back arched and she came apart beneath him.

_This never happened_.

Her words, and his, and he resolved to stick to it this time. It lasted a week. A long, cold, miserable week in which he had yelled at her and she yelled back. She threatened him with insubordination and he told her to do her best to make it stick this time. An hour after that argument he was at her door, his hands were in her hair and hers were pulling at his tie, dragging him inside so that they could do their very best to each other.

The start of it was buried in anger and heat, explosive and unpredictable. It was only fitting that the end had the power to be just as tumultuous.

**MCMCMCMCMCMC**

"_Captain Raydor. It__'__s Lieutenant Flynn._"

"Lieutenant?" That was odd. She couldn't fully suppress her surprise at the sudden shift, his use of their ranks. She was waiting for him, and he was late. Sharon glanced at her watch, and then at the table across the room. It was set and ready for dinner, a dinner which was waiting in her oven. He should have been there half an hour ago. She supposed that his meeting could have gone late, but it wasn't like him not to call. Although, he was calling _now_.

They had been seeing each other for just over four months. She wasn't sure that they could call it a relationship, at least, not in the beginning. They didn't particularly _like_ each other when they began sleeping together, not in the way that they probably should. She kept expecting that whatever this was between them would burn itself out fairly quickly, but it hadn't. Sex had given way to something else, and over the course of a few weeks, they got to know each other a little better. They realized that they had more in common than they didn't, and there was a deeper history there too. He knew her husband. They were once drinking buddies, at least until Andy had gotten sober. Something that Jack was never quite able to accomplish, at least not for any length of time. Sharon realized that it might have colored her perception of him.

It was a perception that had changed. They still had their arguments, but these days when they tangled, it was mostly in a professional setting. They weren't perfect people, they were opinionated and just as prone to moodiness as the next individual, and so they had their fair share of personal arguments too. The difference was, when Sharon and Andy argued, they typically made up. If not right away, then within a few days. They couldn't seem to stay away from each other. Whatever _need_ had brought them together, it kept bringing them together. It just wasn't about sex anymore. At least, it wasn't _only _about sex. Not for her, anyway, and after four months, she thought that she knew Andy well enough that it was more than that for him too.

Sharon wasn't sure that she was ready to define exactly how she felt about him, but she enjoyed the time that they spent together. He was funny. He could make her laugh and, surprisingly, he was affectionate. At some point over the last several months, their time spent together expanded to include quiet dinners, either at favorite restaurants or in one of their homes. They went to movies and, before the summer was over, they had gone to their fair share of baseball games too.

She was a Giants fan. Andy was a Dodgers man. It made for some interesting discussions. Interesting _and_ amusing.

Andy wasn't big on museums or art, but he'd gone with her to a couple of gallery showings that she was interested in.

They both liked driving up into the hills, just to watch the city, particularly at night, and they'd gone camping back in October. They'd gone out into the desert, well away from the city, and spent a few evenings enjoying a clear, star-filled sky as much as they had enjoyed each other.

Basically, she knew it was safe to say that they were dating, even if they hadn't exactly told anyone about it yet. It was a subject that was strictly off limits at work, and neither of them was ready to talk about it to their kids. He rarely saw his, and both of hers lived far enough away now that those visits were limited too.

It wasn't only about the time they spent _out_, however, as this evening was an example of. They were just as content to spend their time together _in_, and as it was her day off, she had offered to make dinner. She preferred his lasagna, but he seemed especially fond of her roasted potatoes. He was looking forward to tonight. Or rather, when she spoke to him earlier in the day, he certainly _acted_ as though he was looking forward to it. She had no reason to doubt him, even now, but it still struck her as a little unusual that three hours ago he was joking about not being sure which he wanted to do more, get his hands on her, or her cooking, and now he was using her rank.

Sharon's mouth opened, and she thought that maybe she should say more, but he went on before she could.

"_Yeah. This is your lucky day_."

He sounded frustrated and out of breath. Her brows climbed into her hairline. Sharon leaned forward in her seat and closed the book that she was reading while she waited for him. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as little tendrils of worry began to dance in her stomach. What had he done?

"Why is that, Lieutenant?" She asked it carefully, not wanting to jump to any of the wrong conclusions, but this was not the laughing, joking man that she spoke to earlier. Then it struck her, why she thought this was so odd. This was not _Andy_ at all, and that was who she was expecting. It was indeed _Lieutenant Flynn_, and he was not her biggest fan. Or more precisely, he wasn't a very big fan of her _job_.

Sharon felt her stomach clench, almost painfully. They'd spent the last several months walking a very fine line. They didn't want anyone to know about them. It wasn't shame, they were simply private people. There was also the fact that those they knew would laugh themselves stupid upon hearing that they were romantically linked. They were one of the most unlikely couples that either of them knew, and yet, it seemed to work. She liked him. She really, _really_ liked him, and maybe it was time to bring them out into the open.

She shook her head as he drew a breath, and realized that it sounded a bit labored. That gave her more cause for concern. "Andy?" It was a slip, but now she was worried about him.

The sound of his name jolted him out of the pain filled haze that was beginning to cloud his mind. He straightened a bit, where he was leaning against his car. "Yeah." Andy blinked, then he hissed. "Roll a team. I'm still at St. Francis. I discharged my weapon, and listen, Captain, you better roll out an ambulance too." Her sharply indrawn breath made him wince. Andy realized that calling his girlfriend while he was beaten and bleeding probably wasn't the best idea he'd ever had, but she was the first person he thought of when he reached for his phone.

Her hand dug into the seat cushion beneath her. Sharon nodded, despite the fact that he couldn't see it. Her mouth had gone incredibly dry. She licked her lips and readjusted her grip on the phone in her hand. "I will take care of it, Lieutenant," she said, voice thick and hitching just a bit. "I will see you in a few minutes." It was quite likely that her people would get there first. St. Francis was across town and she would need to change before leaving. Arriving at a possible crime scene in a pair of jeans and form fitting blouse might not be the best idea at the moment.

"Yeah." Andy hesitated for a moment. He grimaced against the pain that was burning through his side. "Shit. Sharon…" He hissed, and then he grunted. He shook his head, as much to clear it as to try and shake loose the words he wanted to say and couldn't seem to find. Finally, Andy sighed. "I'm sorry about this."

Their night had just gone straight to hell. He was looking forward to it, and he thought maybe she was too. Andy was thinking that, tonight, they might talk about letting others know about them. He was beginning to think that, maybe, this wasn't so temporary a thing and they could bring it out into the open. It wasn't like they could take it to work with them, but he wanted to be able to talk to her throughout the course of the day, and dammit… Sharon wasn't some dirty little secret that should be hidden. She was worth a hell of a lot more than that, and Andy thought that it was time he acted like it.

"I wanted to see you tonight," he continued. "Just not like this."

She hummed quietly. "I know." Sharon's lips curved into a soft smile, her voice dipped, growing softer, more affectionate. "Andy, it's okay. I'll see you soon."

"No." He sighed again. "I'll see _her_. I wanted to see _you_."

Her eyes closed and she shook her head at him. "I promise to make it up to you if I have to yell. Now, let me go. I need to change. I'll be there soon." Sharon paused. "Try not to get into any more trouble, okay?"

How she could make it sound both affectionate and like an order at the same time, Andy didn't know. He snorted at her. "Yeah, I'm going to do that. You just get everyone out here. I haven't got all night, Captain."

Sharon disconnected the call at that point. She hurried through the condo, first turning off the oven and then moving quickly down the hall to her room. Maybe, she thought, after she finished clearing up whatever mess he managed to stumble into this time, there would be enough of the night left for them to enjoy. _Maybe_.

By the time that Sharon arrived at the church where Andy's AA meetings were held her team was already on scene. There were several black and whites parked along the street and in the church parking lot as well, along with the ambulance. She listened, with only one ear, as she was briefed on the situation. The words _Lieutenant_ and _attacked_ rang through her mind. She pondered over them as she strode toward the ambulance, where most of the activity seemed to be taking place. As she rounded it, Sharon was not prepared for what she found.

She was expecting that he had gotten into a fist fight or some other asinine thing. Andy was hot-tempered, and while age might have mellowed him a bit, she knew that he wouldn't turn his back on a fight if it was pushed on him. Bruised knuckles and a sore jaw, those were the things she was expecting. Her stomach twisted painfully when he turned to face her and she realized just how badly hurt he was. Sharon buried her reaction, and while her fingers itched to touch him, to sooth his hurts, she satisfied herself by simply placing a hand against his shoulder.

He was speaking to her and it was a jumble of words that echoed through the haze of concern in her mind. She forced herself to focus on what he was saying, and not the fact that he had, apparently, been sliced open with a knife and lost a considerable amount of blood. Stubborn, she thought, when she realized that anyone else would have passed out already.

She wasn't prepared for the fear that settled through her when finally he reeled and lurched and gave in to the blood loss. It cost, more than she imagined it could, to walk away from him in that moment. She knew that she liked him, but she hadn't realized just how much she had come to care for him until that moment. Sharon wanted to climb into the ambulance with him, keep a watchful eye on him as he was taken to the hospital, but she also needed to find the man that had done this to him.

There was a conflict of interest there. She focused on that and the details of the attack as she walked away from him. Sharon knew what she needed to do. She would get this ball rolling, and then, as soon as possible, she would find a way to recuse herself. She would need to notify his division head, and in that, Sharon realized she had her way out. Chief Johnson would want to take over the case. For once, Sharon thought, she wouldn't fight her. Let them have it, and then, she could focus her attention where it was really needed. On _Andy_ and not the Lieutenant.

**MCMCMCMCMCMC**

She waited for them to leave. Sharon lingered in the lobby, tucked into a corner while she spoke on her phone and watched for the members of the Major Crimes division to exit the hospital before made her way back to Andy's room. There was still an officer posted on the door, and when she stepped into the room, there was a sketch artist seated by the bed. Sharon caught his eye, but said nothing as she crossed the room and set her purse and phone on the cabinet that ran the length of the wall. She saw the question in his eyes and shook her head. She cast a pointed look at the sketch artist and walked over to close the blinds on the large, double window that looked out into the corridor.

Sharon was silent while he worked with the sketch artist. Andy cast questioning looks at her, but continued to describe the young man that he spoke to prior to the attack. He had a few questions for her. Primarily, what the hell was going on? It wasn't like Raydor, at all, to turn over an investigation so easily, especially an officer involved shooting. He already told her that he shot the son of a bitch, but she had practically gift wrapped the damned thing and threw it at the Chief. Never had he seen her so intent on being rid of a case before. It was confusing the hell out of him.

Andy kept a lid on it until the sketch artist left. Then his eyes tracked Sharon as she walked across his room again, this time she spoke to the officer outside the door. Her voice was soft as she told him that she had a few more questions for the Lieutenant and wanted to conduct that interview without being disturbed. Then she closed the door. Andy's brows drew together in a frown. He watched her move closer, and when she smoothed her hands down her skirt, he shook his head at her. "You okay?"

"I think that is supposed to be my question." Sharon hesitated beside the bed for a moment, then she eased down onto the thin mattress beside him. Her hand stroked the length of his uninjured arm. She drew a thin breath and let it out slowly. "How are you feeling?"

"Hurts like hell." He continued to study her, curious and concerned. Finally Andy sighed. "Sharon, you know, that guy—"

"No." She pressed her fingers against his mouth. "No, no." Sharon shook her head. "Don't even say a word. Major Crimes has the case. At least until ballistics come back, and then…" Well, she would need to think of something else. She could let Sergeants Elliot and Davies run point on this, maybe, at least as far as the officer involved shooting was concerned. It was a bridge she would have to cross when she arrived at it, for now, Sharon managed to buy herself a little bit of time. "In the meantime," Sharon continued, "I'm fairly certain we're going to miss dinner tonight. I think we should plan on doing it another night."

Andy grunted. "Yeah, that might be a good idea. I don't think I'm getting out of here tonight." He shifted on the bed and winced as he did. "So is that all, you came back here just to tell me that dinner was off?" Andy reached out and took her hand, when he felt the tremor, he frowned. "Hey." He watched her look down, she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear with the other hand, and drew her bottom lip between her teeth. That was a tell, the usual sign that something was bothering her. "Sharon."

She exhaled again before she looked at him. Her mouth and throat suddenly felt incredibly dry. Anxiety danced in her stomach. Sharon shrugged at him. "I was worried about you," she admitted, a bit haltingly. "We're in danger every day, but I never thought… I didn't expect…" She broke off and looked away again. "Dammit."

"Oh." Realization swept over him with startling clarity. He had frightened her. She cared enough that the attack, and his injuries, had bothered her. A smile tugged at his mouth. Andy tugged on her hand. "Come here," he said quietly. He repeated the request and tugged on her hand again. "It's alright, come on."

Sharon hummed as she lay down beside him. She was careful not to jostle him too much, but stretched out along his side. Mindful of his stitches, she settled her hand against his chest and tucked her small body against him. Her eyes closed when she felt his fingers slide through her hair. "I'm glad that you're okay," she whispered quietly.

"I'm glad you're here," he rumbled quietly. He turned his face, let his lips rest against the top of her head. The soft scent of her perfume, familiar and comforting, drifted over him. "So I guess this is that conflict of interest thing that you were worried about happening?"

"Yes." She tipped her face up and let her lips brush the curve of his jaw. "This is exactly that. I don't know how I am going to get around that when the ballistics come back, but I'll figure something out. It doesn't really matter right now." Her hand stroked his chest in slow, gentle circles. "Any mention of when they might let you leave?"

"Tomorrow sometime." His fingers combed through her hair again, then his hand slipped down her back. "It's a little fuzzy, but I think my car is part of the damned crime scene."

"Mmhm." Sharon turned her face into his neck. "I'm afraid so, honey. You shot out the window when… uh, well, when you discharged your weapon. We had it towed in. It's in the print shop right now. SID is looking over it, and then it's going to the garage to have the window replaced." That was the upside to his having been in his service vehicle. The department would bear the cost of any repairs. Sharon lifted her head and propped it in her hand. "You were intending on spending the night with me, anyway, so perhaps it wouldn't be too preposterous for me to insist that you let me take you home tomorrow. By home, I of course mean my condo, and not that bungalow on the other side of town. I really don't think that it's a good idea for you to be alone right now."

She spoke quickly, and with the way her gaze shifted, flittering away from him, he could tell that she was nervous. This was a little new for them, even after four months together. It felt like they were upping the ante a little, moving to the next level. He didn't mind it. He thought that maybe it was time. Andy reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Best offer I've had in a while," he said. His finger stroked the curve of her cheek, and then down along the length of her neck. "Maybe I can even talk you into making breakfast?"

A smile curved her lips. Her eyes lit and sparkled warmly with affection. "You know, I think that can be arranged." Sharon's lips pursed. "Why is it," she added, "that I'm beginning to think that it isn't me that you want, but my cooking?"

"You spoiled me." He smirked at her. The sparkle was back in his dark eyes. "What am I supposed to do? Go back to takeout and microwave meals? Hell no. My girl can cook, so I might as well take advantage of it, sweetheart." Andy didn't know when they began using the pet names, but it wasn't new, not entirely.

"Hm." She hummed thoughtfully. Sharon lowered her head again. The corners of her mouth twitched toward a smile. "Your girl?"

"Yeah." He grinned crookedly. He slipped his hand into her hair, let his thumb stroke the length of her jaw. "I think so." Andy shrugged, and while it hurt, he ignored the pain. "Why the hell not? We've been at this for a little while."

"Yes we have." Her nose nuzzled at his cheek. She kissed the corner of his mouth on the uninjured side of his face. Her hand lifted, and she gently, carefully, traced the wounds on the left side of his face. "Looks painful," she murmured.

"I've had worse." His hand stroked through her hair. He cupped the back of her head. "I can't really think of when, right at the moment, but I'm sure that I have." He urged her face upward, and ignored the way his cut lip pulled as he kissed her.

She hummed against his mouth. The slow, lingering kisses, they never failed to send little sparks of excitement dancing down her spine. A smile curved her lips again as she trailed kisses along his jaw, only to tuck her face against his neck again. She sighed softly. "Okay," she said easily, "your girl."

Andy chuckled quietly. "You're a tough nut to crack, Sharon Raydor." He held her closer, turned his face into her hair again. She was married, and at the moment, he really didn't give a damn. She and Jack had been legally separated for something like twenty years. He was out of the picture, long out of it, according to her. That suited Andy just fine. They hadn't reached the point in their relationship that it would be an issue, not yet anyway. He wondered if that might be their next step. He resolved not to think about it, she was there with him, and that was all that mattered.

"I should go," Sharon said. "Let you rest." She nuzzled his neck, in no great hurry to move.

"Stay." His arm tightened around her. "I'm resting just fine right here." His voice rumbled quietly in the room. "I like having you around, Sharon."

"Good," she replied. "I like being around." She burrowed just a little bit closer. She would stay where she was, just for a little while longer. She would worry about his case, the conflict of interest, and all the complications that lay ahead of them later, much later, possibly even tomorrow.

**MCMCMCMCMCMC**

She knew that he would be angry. The moment that the ballistics report, along with the case file and update from Major Crimes crossed her desk, Sharon was painfully aware of the fact that Andy would be furious with her. They had argued at work before. It was simply the nature of what their jobs entailed. It was also a part of _who_ they were. They were both passionate about their work. What she was not prepared for, nor did she expect, was the raw hurt that she saw in his gaze as he was informed that she knew he was being investigated for witness tampering and intimidation.

If she were honest about it, Sharon hadn't really given that case more than a cursory look. She received dozens of those complaints on a weekly basis, and her department had to look into each and every one. Despite what others might think, she did not look into each and every FID investigation herself. She had a team of well trained officers to whom she was very comfortable delegating. Which was what she had done with this latest accusation against Lieutenant Flynn. Sergeant Staples was handling it. He was as familiar with Flynn's file as she was, and yes, while his personnel package was crammed full of similar accusations, they had cleared him of all of them over the years.

Sharon expected this to be no different. Only it was. It was incredibly different. This time they were involved, and he was reacting as though she had purposefully withheld that information. Well yes, of course she had, legally she couldn't tell him about the accusations, but it wasn't _personal_.

She decided to give him time to calm down. That seemed to be the best way of dealing with their arguments. Sharon waited until they closed the case before she went to see him. He wasn't answering her calls, and that was just frustrating. He had gone back to the bungalow, although they had decided that he would stay with her while he was recovering. Obviously, he was angrier than she expected he would be.

He scowled upon seeing her. Andy opened his door and felt the anger well up again, hot and thick, bitter at the back of his throat. His teeth ground together. His lip curled in disgust. He turned away from her and walked back into the house, but left the door open behind him. "What do you want?"

She exhaled softly as she stepped inside. "I wanted to see how you were doing." Sharon closed the door behind her, but her stomach clenched painfully. "I tried calling."

"Yeah." He tossed a look at her. "I didn't feel like talking." Andy lowered himself onto the couch with a grimace. "I'm fine." He tipped his head back and allowed his eyes to close. She was the last person that he wanted to see at the moment. He thought that she knew him better, but he thought maybe he was wrong about all of that.

"Andy." Sharon stopped beside the sofa. She hesitated for a moment before she lowered herself onto the cushion beside him. Her fingers were gentle when they brushed his arm. "You don't look fine."

The fact that she sounded like she cared just made him angrier. Andy lifted his head and glared at her. "I'm sorry, _Captain_, is there something that I can do for you? I thought you closed your case? Or is there something else that you need to investigate me for?"

She drew her hand back, as though he'd burned her. Sharon's jaw snapped closed. Her lips pressed into a thin line. Anxiety twisted her stomach into knots. "I understand that you are angry," she said carefully, "but I could not—"

"Tell me. Yeah you covered that," he drawled thickly. "What I really want to know is, if you were spending all this time investigating me, was sleeping with me part of the job, or just an extra little perk."

"Okay." Sharon stood up. Pain sliced through her. She had been accused of a lot of things in her time, but sleeping with a suspect just for the sake of closing a case, was certainly not one of them. In fact, she had taken great pains over the years to make sure that she would never be accused of that behavior or similar. It was one of the reasons she was still married, despite having every reason to divorce her estranged husband. She would have thought that Andy knew that. Apparently not. Obviously, she had misjudged him. "I think that I should leave," her voice hitched as she spoke. She looked away from him. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing the tears that were stinging her eyes. "You can go to hell."

"Shit." Andy ran a hand over his face. He knew the moment the words were out of his mouth that he should have swallowed them back. He was pissed, he was hurt, and he knew he was bad company. Talking to her was a bad idea, it was why he wasn't answering his phone. It was why he didn't want to see her. "Sharon." He pushed himself up, groaning in pain as he rose. "I didn't mean that."

"I think you did." She walked to the door. "It's fine, Lieutenant. The case has been closed, and you won't need to concern yourself with how I spend my time outside of work any longer." Sharon tipped her head down and let her hair obscure her face.

"Dammit." He caught her arm before she could escape the house. Andy drew her around. "I knew that talking was going to be a bad idea. It's why I wasn't answering my phone. I'm rotten company tonight, sweetheart." When he saw the tears in her eyes, he swore again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

She held herself stiffly. Sharon stared at a point on his chest. She shook her head. "Apology accepted, Lieutenant. May I go now?" She spoke quietly, pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. He was standing too close and she was uncomfortably aware of the wall behind her. She exhaled quietly and allowed her jaw to clench.

"Sharon." He slipped his hand beneath her chin, tipped her face up. What he saw in her eyes made his chest tighten painfully. She was attempting to draw her indifference around her like a blanket, but it couldn't completely mask the hurt in her eyes. "I'm an ass," he rasped, sorrow filling his tone.

Her eyes closed. Sharon wrapped her hand around his wrist. A tremor ran through her. "I'm sorry too," she whispered. She stood there for a moment before she opened her eyes again. "I could say that I wanted to tell you, but that would be a lie. The truth is, I barely gave the accusation a cursory look. My division gets dozens of these a week. _Dozens_. You had been cleared in the past, there was no reason to believe it wouldn't happen again. If Rick Zuman had not tried to have you murdered, the odds are, you never would have known." Her jaw clenched again. "But to stand here and be accused of behavior that is not only grossly inappropriate but also just… completely disgusting, is something that I simply will not do." She tugged on his arm, pulled it away from her. Sharon's eyes flashed as she looked up at him. She placed her palm against his chest and pushed, gently, to move him back a step. "Now if you will excuse me, _Lieutenant_, I think that I should be leaving."

The chill that settled over him, it was reflected in the coldness that had encompassed her with that statement. Andy watched her go, too shocked to stop her. "I said I was sorry."

"I know." She looked back at him and shrugged, a bit sadly. "I believe you. Words have power, Andy. They have meaning. Some words can shatter a reputation just as surely as they can shatter a relationship. The problem is, some part of you really felt that way, something inside you questioned my motives, or you never would have said it."

"Wait a minute." He turned to face her. He the hand of his uninjured arm through his hair. "Just wait a damned minute. Are you ending this, because I said something stupid?" Andy stared at her, a bit incredulous, but chest tightened again, until breathing became a bit painful.

Sharon drew a breath and let it out slowly. She nodded at him. "Yes," she said softly. "I think that would be best. If you think about it, this never really made a lot of sense to begin with. We hardly liked each other before all of this started. I think ending it now will… save us both from a messy and possibly embarrassing situation further down the line." It was hard, forcing the words past the aching lump in her throat, but she managed. Sharon tilted her head at him. "It isn't going to work, Andy. We're just too…" She trailed off and gestured helplessly with her hands. "Maybe if our jobs were different, but they aren't. At the end of the day, I'm still going to be Professional Standards, and a part of you will never be able to look past that." She shrugged again, but smiled sadly. "The next time that my division has to investigate you, there won't be any question as to my motives."

"Just like that." He couldn't believe he was hearing it. Andy shook his head at her. His jaw hung slightly agape. "You don't even want to talk about it. Just one dumb comment and that's it, you're done." He shifted where he stood, leaned back against the wall when his legs began to feel week. "Hell, Sharon. You know that I—"

"Just like that," she said, cutting him off. "Andy, If I stay, if we talk…" Her voice hitched. Sharon looked away from him and folded her arms across her chest. She would forgive him. They would continue on as they were. "This will happen again," she whispered. "Maybe not in this exact fashion, but it _will_ happen. It's better to end it now, while we can walk away with some dignity." She swallowed hard, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I'll be sure to have anything you left at the condo delivered. If you could…" She gestured helplessly at the interior of his house.

"Yeah." Andy heaved a pain-filled sigh. "I'll look around." He continued to stare at her, not really sure he believed what was happening, or the pain that had centered itself in his chest. His stomach twisted and he took a step forward. Letting her go just didn't feel right. It didn't seem possible. "_Sharon_."

She took a step back, moving quickly, eyes wide and wary. Sharon held a hand in front of her, as if to ward him off. "I really hope that… well, I hope that you feel better soon," she said, cutting off her original statement. "Goodbye Andy."

He watched her turn, watched her flee. Andy followed her to the door, but she was moving much too quickly for him to catch her this time. By the time he stepped out onto his porch, she was already striding toward her car. He drew a ragged breath, felt it throb right through him. When she reached the car, he watched her hesitate, and as she looked back, he saw the tears. It wasn't that he'd angered her. He hurt her. Andy swore silently, bowed his head. He screwed his eyes closed and tried to stamp down on the rising anguish. He forced himself to look up again, to watch her drive away.

It was only after her car disappeared down the street that he turned again. He walked back into the house and pushed the door closed behind him. Andy stood there for a moment. He felt his side burn when he moved. He reached for the nearest object, a plaque that he had earned some years before, and hurled it as hard as he could against the wall. "Goddammit!"

One stupid remark. One angry, unbelievably dumb comment, and that was it. Sharon was gone. Andy knew her.

She wouldn't be back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Adrift and Apart**

**by Kadi  
>Rated: T<strong>

**Disclaimer: **This is not my sandbox. These are just my favorite toys. I promise to return them when finished.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2 - The Art of Separation (Living Proof)<strong>

December had not started on a very good note. It did not appear as though it would be ending on one either. Sharon sighed as she held her phone to her ear. She pressed the fingers of her other hand between her brows, as though to stave off the headache that was beginning to pound behind her eyes. The first blow had come in the form of the break-up with Andy. Yes, she had initiated the break-up, in direct response to his hurtful comment, but she had also held fast to it later. Andy had called her a few days later, her first instinct was to ignore the call, but she felt that would be both immature and inappropriate. She spoke to him, at length, and she had to give him credit, he had tried very hard to change her mind. He missed her, he was sorry, and was she okay?

She almost agreed. She certainly considered it. In the end, Sharon knew that she was right. Their jobs were too much a part of who they were as individuals, and they had both worked too hard and too long to risk all of that on a personal relationship that may or may not be worth the risk in the end. She missed him too. If she were completely honest with herself, she had been missing him since the evening she ended their relationship. She hadn't realized just how much she had come to enjoy their time together, how much she cared for him, until it was over.

Seeing him at work, and knowing that there was no quiet evening together to look forward to, no passionate embrace to anticipate, that was harder than she expected. She ached for him, for the way he said her name, and the way his hands touched her body. She yearned for the taste of him on her lips and the heat of his mouth as he teased her. Most of all, she missed the way his eyes would crinkle at the corners when he smiled. She missed his sense of humor and the way that he made her laugh. She missed _him_. Andy. The man that she could have easily fallen for if given enough time, and maybe she was fooling herself, maybe the reason that she was missing him so badly was because she had fallen for him. She just couldn't have him.

She resolved to try and forget their time together, but that was impossible. She could no more forget the months she spent with Andy than she could forget the years spent with Jack. She tucked it away instead, and tried to hide her sadness when their paths crossed. Sharon could be professional, and she could keep her responses to him limited to the work they were doing. At first she questioned his ability to do the same, but he had proved, recently, that although his irritation and frustration might leak through, he would treat her no differently than he always had. There was a strange sense of comfort in that.

Small comforts were exactly what she was holding on to lately. Especially now that she was stranded in Los Angeles for Christmas. Sharon pressed her lips together as she listened to her daughter, on the other end of her phone, expressing her displeasure at having their holiday plans disrupted.

"It just isn't the same without you here."

"I know honey." Sharon suppressed the urge to sigh. The hitch in her daughter's voice had tears stinging her own eyes. She heard a sniffle and pressed her eyes tightly shut. "Emily, don't cry. The weather will clear in another day, I will be on the first flight, I promise. We will celebrate Christmas when I get there, and we'll have the New Year together. Honey…"

When Sharon disappeared after dinner, Andy thought that she left. The impromptu Christmas party was still ongoing in the Murder Room, and he had slipped away for a minute to try and call his kids. The ex-wife was upset with him for canceling on dinner. Andy couldn't blame her. It was the first invite in six years, and he blew it having to work. He was hoping that if he spoke to the kids, maybe he could smooth things over. Maybe they would be able to get together for dinner later this week, it wouldn't be the same, but he did want to see them.

He wondered the halls behind the Murder Room, looking for a quiet corner, and realized that he wasn't the only one with that idea. The sound of Sharon's voice, the thick, sad inflection, drew his attention. He should have walked away, left her to her privacy, but there was still a part of him that was drawn to her. It was a very big damn part of him, and he could no more ignore her sadness than he could stop breathing. There was also a part of him that wanted to hate her. He was angry at her, and angry at himself, but mostly he was just resigned to the fact that he managed, once again, to screw up a great thing. It wasn't only him, he knew that, she could have bent, just a bit, but even as he thought that, he knew that Sharon was right. They would fight again. Their jobs would interrupt their personal relationship, and the next time it happened, they may not be able to walk away from it so cleanly.

That didn't make him want her any less. He buried it behind sneers and sarcasm, and tried to ignore that he knew how good she felt, or the sounds she made as she came apart in his arms. He tried to ignore the memory of her taste, and the way that her laugh made his heart beat just a little faster. He wouldn't let himself linger too long on the sight of her smile or the way that her eyes changed color with her mood. He ignored all of that, because Andy knew that he couldn't forget it.

What he could not ignore was the small, low hum she made, in deference to a real response. Andy rounded the corner and found her, standing near a row of windows that looked out over the city. She was facing the night, shoulders slumped and head bent. His jaw clenched and he sighed. He couldn't ignore that either. It just wasn't in him to walk away from her while she was hurting. He rolled his eyes heavenward and asked for both patience and strength as he walked toward her.

"I'll talk to you soon," she murmured quietly. "All my love to everyone." Sharon disconnected the call and pressed the back of her hand against her mouth. The kids, both of them, were upset with her. They tried to hide it behind the excuse of being inconvenienced, but she knew her kids, and she knew that they were only attempting to hide their disappointment.

Andy leaned against the window ledge beside her. He tucked his hands into his pockets, figuring he'd have better luck at not touching her if they were hidden. "The kids?"

Sharon nodded quietly. With her hair obscuring her face, she swept her fingers beneath her eyes to remove the few tears that had escaped before returning his gaze. "Yes." She cleared her throat and tucked her phone back into her pocket before folding her arms around herself. "It isn't the first time I've had to work through the holiday, but it is the first time that we've been apart during Christmas. They usually come to me, and we either join my parents, or we celebrate at home." Sharon sighed, she shook her head. "They're all grown up now, so I should get used to it, right?"

He shrugged at her. "The first time is always the hardest." He remembered that first year he was on his own for the holidays. It was after his wife kicked him out. He spent it buried at the bottom of a bottle, but even that hadn't completely numbed the pain of being without his family. The real pain came the first Christmas after he got sober. He felt it a lot more keenly then, understood just what he'd lost. Her situation was completely different. She hadn't lost the right to be with her kids a Christmas, obstacles had been put in her path.

Andy drew his hands out of his pockets, clasped them in front of him. "I'm sorry, Sharon. I know you were looking forward to it." She had been talking about it since before Thanksgiving. Every time she did, her eyes would light up with joy. Now they were dim, sad, and his hands itched to hold her.

Her lips curved into a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "So were you." The invitation to spend Christmas with his family must have come recently, he hadn't mentioned it prior to their break-up. Sharon didn't need to know when the invitation was extended to know that it was something he wanted, and a lost opportunity that he was now mourning. She studied her shoes for a moment and finally, when she could bear it no more, Sharon straightened and pushed away from the wall. "I should be going. It's getting late."

"Not that late." Andy watched her. He sighed. "You don't have to run off, Sharon. You could stay, enjoy the party."

"Hm." She shook her head. "I think I've enjoyed enough of it. I think the rest of your division will probably feel a lot more festive if I make myself scarce."

"It's Christmas," he said. "We can play nice for one night." Andy tilted his head at her. "You don't have to be alone." He pushed away from the wall and took a step closer, so that he was standing close, well inside what could be considered a respectful distance. "It's just one night, sweetheart."

Her mouth opened but quickly closed. He was staring at her, and the intensity of his gaze took her breath for a moment. Suddenly she wasn't sure what he was asking of her, to stay and enjoy the party, or something else entirely. Sharon's face softened, warmed. It had been difficult, these last few weeks, but they were both managing. Tonight he was hurting as much as she was, missing his kids as much as she was missing hers, and still he was trying to make her feel better. She lay her hand against his chest, let her fingers stroke the length of his tie.

"I would like to," she said softly, speaking to the hidden offer in his words. "I just can't, Andy." Sharon tugged affectionately on his tie as she shook her head. "You should go back," she said, and nodded her head in the direction of the Murder Room. "Spend time with your friends, keep that partner of yours out of trouble. I would hate to have to come back here tonight."

Andy snorted quietly. "The Chief's mom keeps him out of trouble better than I ever could." He smirked at her. "Probably better than _you_ could. I think he's got a bit of a crush on her."

Sharon laughed. The surprised, but joy-filled sound rang through the silent hall. Some of the sparkle returned to her eyes, she smiled genuinely up at him. "I think all of you have a bit of a crush on her, but that's okay. She's a very nice lady."

"Yeah." Andy shrugged. He grinned a bit crookedly at her. "She's great. Makes me miss mine a bit more, she's been gone a while." He shrugged. "It's good though, the Chief's mom. We all like her," he agreed. Andy reached out before he could stop himself and flipped her hair back behind her shoulder. "If you won't stay," he rumbled quietly, "can I get you a ride home? Doesn't have to be me…" He got it. They were done. It didn't mean that he stopped giving a damn.

"No," she said softly. "I have my car. Thank you, though." Sharon smiled up at him. "For the offer, and, well…" Making her feel, if not better, at least a little less melancholy.

"You're welcome." He didn't know why, but he moved closer. His hand settled at her waist, and he leaned down. For just a moment, he was tempted to let his mouth cover hers. His lips tingled at the promise of feeling her against them again. Instead, he let his lips brush her cheek. It was light, but not entirely chaste. "Good night Sharon," he spoke quietly, lips moving against her cheek as his rumbled thickly. "Merry Christmas."

Her eyes closed. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and hummed. She was tempted to lean into him, but didn't. When at last she looked up, her eyes were bright. "Merry Christmas, Andy." She smiled a bit tremulously. "Good night." She allowed her hand to brush his arm as she stepped away from him. It cost her to do it, but Sharon turned away. Her heels clicked against the tile as she moved, footfalls becoming more certain with each step that she put between them. When she rounded the corner and started down the passage that would take her back into the Murder Room, she took a deep breath.

Yes, she missed him, but perhaps there was hope too. It wouldn't always hurt.

When Andy got back to the Murder Room a few minutes later, he found Sharon still present. He wasn't surprised. She stood to one side, speaking quietly with the Chief's mother. He knew she would find it unconscionably rude if she left without thanking her hostess. He imagined that she was doing that now.

He crossed the room and paused at the bright, festively covered table that had been designated for drinks. There was sparkling cider, soda, and iced tea. Andy sighed as he retrieved a soda, even while his thoughts were being interrupted.

The loud echo of his partner's voice rang across the room. "Flynn! Get over here and settle a bet."

"You lost." He smirked a bit. "Whatever it is, you lost, so just pay up and be done." Andy took his soda with him and walked over to join Provenza, who stood with Taylor, Tao, and Gabriel. Andy sighed again. "What?"

"Cheerful aren't you?" Provenza made a face at him. "That just speaks to my point." He looked at the others. "Flynn broke up with his girlfriend, that's why he's moping around here in such a fantastic mood lately."

"I said," Tao interrupted, "that we would know if you had a girlfriend." He grinned smugly. "No way were you seeing anyone."

"For the record," Taylor added, "I told them that you don't mope after the ladies. You'd just find a new one."

"Really." Andy gave the group of them a bland look. "That's what you're over here talking about? My relationship status?" He snorted at them. "Okay, you two," he pointed at Provenza and Gabriel, "need to find girlfriends of your own, and you two…" He shook his head at Taylor and Mike. "Go call your wives."

He started to turn away from them but Provenza shook his head. "Now, now, not so fast there partner." He smirked happily. "I think I know when you're seeing someone. Exhibit A, he bought baseball tickets and didn't take me to the game. Exhibit B, he stopped hanging out at _Malone__'__s_ with us, and finally, Exhibit C, on a few separate occasions I have driven past his house - in an attempt to lure him out for a good time, and there has been a strange car parked in his drive."

Tao grinned widely. "Okay," he said slowly, as if considering it. "One, who wants to go to a ballgame with you anyway? Two, sitting around and watching all of us get drunk isn't exactly a good time, and three…" He shook his head and made a face at the older Lieutenant. "Stalking is a creepy. Even when you do it to your partner."

"Especially when you do it to your partner," Gabriel added with a laugh. "Come on, none of that really says girlfriend."

"Ah, ah, ah," Provenza shook his finger at them. "Except the fact that I know the last time he acted like this… girlfriend." He turned on his partner. "So, who is she, and did she dump you or not?"

Andy rolled his eyes at him. "You need more hobbies in your life. I tell you what," he gestured at his partner, "we'll go out tomorrow and find you a new wife."

"The hell you will." Provenza snorted. "Just answer the question."

He sighed. From the corner of his eye, he saw that others were taking an interest in their conversation too. Namely, Sharon, whose conversation with Mrs. Johnson seemed to have dwindled. "No one you'll ever meet," he told them, "and she dumped me a couple of weeks ago." Andy shrugged. "Shit happens. Now, whoever won, I want half the cash." He held out his hand and wiggled his fingers at them. "Pay up."

"Lieutenant!" Willy Rae cast a sad look at him. "That's terrible news! So close to Christmas too, you poor thing." She clucked her tongue in dismay. "I swear, some ladies just don't know a good thing when it's right in front of them."

Andy's gaze shifted. He looked at Sharon. "Oh, I think they do, Mrs. Johnson. It wasn't her fault. She was actually pretty great." He looked at the Chief's mom and shrugged. "I was the idiot in that relationship."

Willy Rae opened her mouth to respond, but Sharon's voice filled the murder room instead. "I think the point that the Chief's mother is making is that sometimes," she said carefully, tone a bit gentler than she would normally use with this group of people, "it takes two people to _screw it up_, Lieutenant." She turned before he could respond, offered a bright smile to the older woman beside her. "Thank you again."

As Sharon stepped away her gaze circled the room. "Merry Christmas everyone, and no offense, but I hope to see absolutely none of you before the New Year."

"None taken," Provenza chirped, "and right back at ya!"

Andy shook his head as the others, quite cheerfully, bid her goodnight. He even heard Gabriel mutter under his breath, _Ding-dong the witch is gone_. Andy sighed. He cast a dark look at the younger detective when he thought no one was looking. Okay sure, he might have started it, but Andy knew her a lot better now.

Unbeknownst to him, however, there was one person who did notice. Willy Rae smiled a bit sadly at the way the Lieutenant's gaze followed the Captain until she was gone. Young people today, they thought everyone around them was so oblivious to everything. She had certainly noticed the sparks that flew between those two over the last couple of days, and if she hadn't, well, they didn't need to sit so close together at dinner only to pretend to ignore one another. She doubted that anyone else had noticed, and found it amusing that for a group of detectives that were supposed to be so good at figuring people out, they had missed the obvious that was practically dancing right in front of their faces.

She glanced across the room and spied Brenda Leigh. Willy Rae sighed and smiled to herself. She decided she would just keep this one to herself. There was no need to go and get her daughter all worked up, and perhaps… the New Year would be kinder to all of them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Adrift and Apart**

**by Kadi  
>Rated: T<strong>

**Disclaimer: **This is not my sandbox. These are just my favorite toys. I promise to return them when finished.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 - Do You Still Remember Me? (Forgive us our Trespasses)<strong>

In the eight months since their break-up, Andy Flynn could count on one hand the number of times he had actually gone in search of Sharon. By his count, the current situation was the third. After their little visit by Goldman earlier in the day, he decided to seek her out, find out just what it was that she knew about their little lawsuit. _If_ he could get her to speak to him about it.

They weren't exactly on close terms anymore. Things seemed to have finally leveled out between them, returned to the status quo. They spoke when they saw each other, about work or inconsequential things, and they still argued as much as they ever did when their divisions butted up against each other. He wouldn't say they were friends, not really, not in the way he thought that friends should react to one another. He couldn't call them acquaintances either, they knew each other far too well for that.

They simply were.

They were two people who knew each other intimately, and he could admit, he still missed her from time to time. After almost a year, it wasn't quite the same ache as it was just after the break-up, but it was there, when he thought about it. He just seemed to think of her a little less these days. Those thoughts usually only followed an encounter in the Murder Room, especially lately, with her following them around with her little clipboard and asking them questions about the _Shootin__' __Newton_ case. Now, Andy figured he had a good idea _why_ she was questioning it.

Andy found her in the fifth floor break room. She was leaning against the counter, weight on one foot, while she held a case file in one hand and steeped a cup of tea with the other. He cast a quick look around the room as he entered, and found it otherwise unoccupied, Andy pushed the door closed behind him. He walked across the room and pulled the file out of her hand. Andy placed it on the counter, out of reach. "Need you."

Sharon was as surprised by his actions as she was his words. She blinked at him, and then shifted where she stood, straightening. She folded her arms across her chest and tilted her head at him, while her lips pursed. She considered his statement very carefully before finally she responded. "Perhaps I was a little unclear, Lieutenant," Sharon stated at length, "no, wait, we discussed this in December, and given the length of time that has passed since that conversation, I cannot imagine how you could possibly be confused. Unless of course you've suffered a head injury recently that I am unaware of?" Her eyes glittered, with just a hint of amusement, but she was primarily curious at his behavior.

He rolled his eyes at her. Andy's face settled into a bland look. "Very funny," he said dryly. "It's completely professional, I promise."

"Oh god." Sharon rolled her eyes heavenward. She turned and leaned back against the counter with a sigh. "What did you do? No, wait, let me ask that a different way. What did you and your partner do? Or is this strictly a singular inquiry? In which case, perhaps I should be asking you who it is that you have either threatened, insulted, roughed up, or otherwise pissed off?"

Andy's face fell. His lips turned down in a look that wasn't quite a frown but couldn't be called a pout either. He gestured with his hands and finally settled on looking incredulously at her. "Why do you always think I did something? Maybe I just need your advice!"

Sharon laughed out loud, the idea was so preposterous that she almost snorted. "Oh yes, I'm sure that's it." She shook her head at him and reached past him to snatch her file back. Then she lifted her tea cup and carried it with her to a table near the center of the room. Sharon pulled a chair out and sat in it. She crossed her legs and regarded him. "I also happen to know you," she said, and waved a hand at him, "but do go on, Lieutenant. Tell me, what is it that is so important that you've come looking for me… for the first time ever."

He didn't know which was more annoying, her flippant behavior or the superior smile that curved her lips. What was worse, Andy could think of a way to get rid of both, but they weren't doing _that_ anymore. He tore his mind away from thoughts of kissing her senseless and walked over to stand in front of the table. He placed his hands on it and leaned forward. "You know, Captain, sometimes you can be a real pain in my—"

"Yes," she drawled, letting the syllable roll off her tongue at length. Sharon's eyes sparkled as she smiled up at him. "A real pain in your…. what, Lieutenant?"

Andy scowled at her. "Neck," he deadpanned. "You're a real pain in my neck. Come on, Sharon, put the attitude away for a minute, please? I'm kind of serious here. I need to know what is happening." Andy reached into the inside of his jacket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. He placed it on the table and slid it toward her. "I know that you know what this is about. What the hell is going on?"

Sharon reached for the paper and unfolded it. She sat back in her seat as she read through it. "It's a subpoena," she said quietly. "I don't…" She trailed off as she read further through it and finally she leaned forward again. "Dammit." Her gaze lifted. "When did you get this?"

"This morning." Andy dropped into the chair beside her. "That asshole, Goldman, posed as a process server and dropped them off. Then he hung around the Murder Room so he could hear how we reacted to them. It's not serious, right? I mean, come on… Terrell Baylor? That little gang punk killed an old man and his grandson and _we_ are being sued?"

"This morning?" Sharon's eyes widened. "Why was I not…" She trailed off and shook her head. "Never mind." She folded the subpoena and pushed it back toward him. "We can't discuss this. All I can tell you is what is in the suit. The Baylors are alleging that by dropping Terrell off, at his home, where members of his gang were gathering, that those named in the suit knowingly placed him in mortal peril."

"This is why you've been hounding us all month," Andy said, "you've been looking into the case to see if we actually did anything wrong. Sharon!" He slapped his hand against the table's surface as he leaned back. "Dammit." Andy shook his head at her. She was investigating him, again, without telling him. It felt like the Rick Zuman case all over again. "So what," he said with a sigh, "should I actually be worried about this, or is it just another bullshit lawsuit?"

Sharon's lips pursed again. She wrapped her hands around her tea cup and rested her arms on the table. "I really cannot discuss the lawsuit with you," she explained to him. "Nor can I tell you what I have, or have not uncovered in my audit of the Newton murders." Sharon rubbed her lips together. "I think… Andy," she looked up at him, and her gaze was grim. "You should take this very seriously. Hypothetically speaking," she said, because she couldn't advise him beyond the most peripheral information, "were I to make a recommendation to the City Attorney's office, it would be to move to have anyone who was not directly involved in dropping Terrell Baylor at his residence removed from the suit."

Andy continued to frown as he watched her. "Okay," he said slowly and nodded. "That would cut out everyone but David, Sanchez and the Chief." His eyes narrowed in thought. His head tilted to one side. "David didn't get subpoenaed. Why do you think that is?"

"Diversionary tactic." Sharon shrugged at him. "I've seen it before. The Baylor's attorney is singling out one person in the division, while you're focused on trying to figure out what he did or did not do, or what he knows or said, then you are not focused on the attorney's tactics. I wouldn't worry about it."

"Yeah." Andy looked down at the table. "But say, for instance, what you said… the thing about getting everyone who wasn't in the car tossed out of the suit, that would mean David, the Chief and Julio were still in the hot seat. How is that okay? You're suggesting that we make them the scapegoats."

"No," she said at length. "I am suggesting that we whittle this lawsuit down to a finite number of defendants and then work to have it thrown out, or to beat it. Detective Sanchez and Sergeant Gabriel would be protected by rank. Anything they did or did not do could be classified as an order from a direct superior. Once we have the lawsuit limited to Chief Johnson, it becomes much easier to defend. That is of course," she shrugged, "just a theory and it bears assuming that the City Attorney follows the recommendation or can even make it happen."

"In my experience," Andy grumbled, "your theories are usually pretty damned good." He tapped his fingers against the tabletop. "Shit."

"Okay, listen." Sharon leaned forward. She reached out and let her fingers brush his arm. "The only thing that I can really tell you to do in this situation is to speak to your Union Rep. Take this seriously, and whatever you do, listen to your Rep's advice. I'll help as much as I can," she said quietly, "but legally, my hands are going to be tied." She sighed softly. "You may even want to think about getting an attorney of your own, someone independent of the department."

"God." Andy rubbed a hand over his face and into his hair. "Sharon, I hate lawyers." He leaned back in his seat again and let his shoulders slump. "This is that bad? Really?"

"It is." She smiled at him. "Although, I suppose hating lawyers would be an occupational hazard. The thing is, you might actually need one."

He snorted at her. "No, sweetheart, I hated them even before I became a cop." Andy scrubbed a hand over his face again. "You couldn't just lie and tell me it was just a bullshit lawsuit?"

"Hm." She leaned forward and rested her chin in her hand. Sharon smiled at him. "Don't worry, Andy. It's just a bullshit lawsuit."

"Too late now." He made a face at her. "You've already ruined it." He leaned forward too and reached out with his hand. His fingers wrapped around her tea cup and he lifted it. Andy took a drink and made another face at her. "I'll never know how you and drink that crap." He put the cup back down in front of her. His chair scraped against the tile as he slid it back before standing.

Her eyes narrowed. Sharon glared up at him. "Well I don't want to drink it now." Her nose wrinkled and she pushed the cup aside with a single finger. "Go away Lieutenant, you're bothering me."

"I'm going." He straightened his jacket. "Not because you told me to, but I've got stuff to do. You know, actual police work." When her eyes narrowed even more, Andy grinned crookedly. It was fun to rile her up. He moved around the table on his way to the door, and as he did, he tugged on a lock of her hair. "You should come by the Murder Room. We miss your sparkling personality."

"Hm." Sharon thought about it for a moment. "I suppose I could swing by." Her brow arched. "Although, I would feel required to inform the others that my presence was by invitation." She fluttered her lashes at him. "I wonder what the others in your division would think of that?"

"You make a very good point." He pointed a finger at her. "Stay the hell away from the Murder Room." When he reached the door, he looked back at her and winked. "Thanks Cap, you know, for the not-so-helpful and completely theoretical advice. If anyone finds out we talked about this, I'll swear to them that you helped me not at all."

He grinned at her in a way that made her want to bare her teeth at him. Instead, Sharon settled on a serene little smile. "Well, it was no problem at all Lieutenant, and thank you… I can always count on you to be a pain in my—" She trailed off as he left the room. As the break room door closed behind him, Sharon sighed. "Ass."

Sharon leaned back in her seat again. She shook her head as she replayed the encounter in her mind. He was possibly the most infuriating man she had ever met. There were times, however, like this one, when she also missed him like crazy. The rest of the time she barely thought about it at all. They'd had months apart, plenty of time for them to get over any hurt feelings and move on with their lives.

She was over him. She was completely sure that she was over him, but there were moments, like the present, when she missed having him in her life. He was infuriating and annoying, but he was also amusing, endearing, and sometimes he was even a little bit charming. Sharon sighed one more time. She would help him as much as she could. He wouldn't be able to know about it, and it was doubtful to her that he would recognize it. She would help all of them, she just hoped that their idiot interim Chief of Police wouldn't tie her hands. If that happened… well, they were all screwed.

In the meantime… She drew the file she was reading back toward her. Sharon reached for her teacup and sighed. She considered making another one, but then she rolled her eyes. She wouldn't give her favorite troublemaker the satisfaction. She lifted it instead, but her lips curved into a smile as she took a sip.

He was a coffee man, she preferred tea. Really, they were completely unsuited for each other.

So then, why was she still thinking about it?

Sharon groaned aloud. She was thinking about it because Andy Flynn was a troublemaker. He got her all riled up and her head spinning, and she was pretty sure that he had done it on purpose.

Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. She was going to get him back for that… and his little dog too, she added as an afterthought, recalling his oh so creative artwork. Sharon smiled. Perhaps she would meander up toward the Murder Room… she needed to find out why she had not been informed about the subpoenas. She also wanted to check on that Detective Gabriel situation. It was probably nothing, but it wouldn't hurt to check into it. While she was at it, well, a little revenge never hurt anyone.

Andy Flynn was going to learn to rue the day. That was something that she was looking forward to. She thought he might even learn to behave himself. On second thought, she realized she was asking for too much, and honestly, she wouldn't enjoy tangling with him nearly as much if he did. No, she would simply continue to enjoy slapping him down whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Now was no exception.

Sharon closed her file and stood. She dumped the contents of her teacup and hummed quietly to herself as she left the break room. Getting the opportunity to make all of Major Crimes and its Chief squirm? Sharon grinned. Instead of revenge, she decided she might just owe Andy one. She just wouldn't tell _him_ that.

Oh yes… this was going to be fun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Adrift and Apart**

**by Kadi  
>Rated: T<strong>

**Disclaimer: **This is not my sandbox. These are just my favorite toys. I promise to return them when finished.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 - Need Blurs All Lines (Road Block)<strong>

It was late when Sharon finally left her office. The act of arresting a Police Commissioner's wife had created a firestorm of paperwork for more than just the Major Crimes division that uncovered her crime. Sharon had been in and out of meetings for most of the day, moving almost constantly between her office and the Chief's, meetings with the Mayor, and finally the commissioners had been called together to discuss the resignation of Jay Meyers.

While all agreed that it was tragic a life had been lost due to Gail Meyers's actions, the primary concern on everyone's mind had been the impact that the incident would have on the Department. Impact and response had kept Sharon busy throughout the day. An internal investigation had been launched. The Chief, in response to the Mayor, now wanted to know if anyone within the department had, at any time, given Gail Meyers a _free ride_ because she was a commissioner's wife. They needed to uncover that before someone outside the department did, and it created a negative backslide, possibly even another lawsuit.

When finally she was able to slide into her car, Sharon let herself slump in the seat. Her head fell back against the seat rest. She sighed, allowing the tension of the day to flow out of her. Her feet were aching and her shoulders were tight with tension and fatigue. She wanted nothing more than to go home and pour herself a glass of wine and run a steaming, hot bath. The thought of soaking for a while made her body tingle with anticipation.

Sharon sighed again as she turned the key in the ignition and started the car. As badly as she wanted to go home, there was something else that she needed to do first.

She had gone looking for him, when at last she could lift her head from the paperwork littering her desk. Sharon used the guise of having questions for her own report to seek him out in the ninth floor Murder Room, but she was told that Lieutenant Flynn had already gone home for the night. Sharon didn't believe that. She didn't think that she was being lied to, but she didn't believe that he had gone home. She knew him far too well for that.

A year might separate the time in which it would have been prudent for her to go hunting for him, but time could not erase the worry that one felt for another. He was still important to her. She wasn't a switch. She couldn't stop caring for someone just because they no longer spent time together. She didn't work that way, and honestly, she didn't believe that he did either.

She had seen him earlier. Sharon got a glimpse of him in passing and the sadness in his eyes had felt like a physical ache. She had been worrying about him ever since, but there hadn't even been a moment that she could slip away to check on him. Not until now.

Sharon knew where he would go. When he was especially bothered, or upset, Andy had a spot. She knew that he would drive away from the city, well away from people and stores, from bars and the temptation to drown or numb his sorrows. He would go where he could use his mind, think over his troubles, and find a solution that he could live with.

She pointed her car in that direction and maneuvered it through traffic. She drove toward Santa Monica, and then up into the hills beyond the Palisades. Andy had a spot there, a quiet little lookout from which he could stand and look out over the glittering lights of the city. She knew about it because he had taken her there, on more than one occasion. It was quiet, peaceful.

It took almost an hour, with traffic, to reach the turn off. Sharon smiled as she pulled her car to a stop, just off the road, beside a familiar dark Camry. She slipped out of her car and looked around. There was a short, narrow, wooded path that led to the lookout. Sharon drew a breath as she strolled along it. Within just a couple of yards it opened into a small clearing. The lookout was once a popular picnic spot. There were a couple of old, wooden picnic tables that had seen better days.

Sharon spied Andy standing just beyond them. His hands were tucked into his pockets as he stared at the glow of the city. Sharon approached him slowly, her hand touched his arm when she neared. She let it slide down to curl around his wrist. Her fingers settled against the inside, slid beneath the gold chain he wore, stroked gently. Sharon looked up at him, eyes concerned, a sad smile at her lips. "Hi."

"Hey." He glanced down at her before letting his eyes move back to the city. He shook his head, sighed quietly. "I had a feeling that you'd show up." Andy closed his eyes, let the sorrow move through him. "Hell of a week."

"Yes." Her fingers continued to stroke along the inside of his wrist. Sharon tipped her head to the side, let it rest against his shoulder. "I won't stay long," she told him. "By the time I made it upstairs, you'd already gone. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. It was a hard one."

"You could say that." Andy looked down at her again. "Drunk runs down a girl. That kind of thing happens more than we want to think. So she was a Police Commissioner's wife, doesn't make her special. It just made her more dangerous." Anger rolled, bitter and hot in his gut. They had found the one DUI, but how many others could there have been? How many times did she get pulled over and let go because of who her husband was? How many cops out there looked the other way. Andy sighed, shuddered a bit. "Shit." He shook his head and looked away again. "That could have been me."

"Andy." She spoke quietly. Sharon turned toward him, she held his wrist with one hand, but curled her other arm around his and leaned into his side. "That was a long time ago. Things are different now. You're different."

"Am I?" Andy grunted in response. "I might be sober, but how different am I really? I'm still an ass. I still don't know how to keep my mouth shut, and somehow, being sober didn't keep me from tossing away a really good thing. So tell me, Sharon, how different am I really?"

She exhaled quietly. The bitterness in his tone made her heart ache for him. "You can recognize it. The man you were then wouldn't be able to see it, and even if he had, he wouldn't care." She stroked his arm. "It wasn't you, and you didn't hurt anyone. You got help. Now, whether she wants it or not, Gail Meyers is going to sober up."

"Yeah but look at the price for her sobriety," he ground out. "It wasn't worth it, Sharon." Andy looked down. "That girl didn't have to die."

"No," she murmured. "She didn't." Sharon shook her head. "Unfortunately, that's where I come into it." She was not looking forward to the weeks that lay ahead of her. The lawsuit they were facing was bad enough, but now she had another investigation to add to it. Sharon pushed those thoughts aside and looked up at him again. "You were with Gracey at the end. She wasn't alone. It isn't much, and it's not a lot of comfort, but it is something to hold on to."

"Yeah." His stomach twisted into a knot, his chest clenched. They were usually already dead by the time he got to them. Andy didn't have to hold their hands and wait for the end to come. He didn't have to talk them through the fear of passing. This one was going to stay with him for a while. Like he'd told the Chief, he had already spoken to his sponsor, a number of times, and it helped knowing they got the person responsible. It was just cold comfort. Andy's teeth ground together as he thought of Gail Meyers. He looked down at Sharon again. "It happens more than you think," he said. "I can't tell you how many times I got pulled over while I was drinking, over the limit, and I got let go because of my badge. So yeah, that could have been me. Thank god it wasn't, but it could have been. Shit, Sharon… the officers that drove her home didn't even put in their official report that she reeked of boozed because of who her husband is. So how many times did _she_ get pulled over and let go? How many times could we have stopped her from being behind the wheel of that car the night she hit Gracey? It didn't have to happen," he repeated. It was the one thought that kept playing in his mind. Gracey didn't have to die.

Sharon moved in front of him. She lay her hand against his chest, let her thumb stroke the edge of his tie. "Listen to me," she said quietly, voice thick, "I know that it happens. I will do whatever I can to find anyone responsible for allowing Gail Meyers to have a pass and make them pay for their part in this tragedy, but _you_ are not responsible for this. You were not driving that car, Andy, and your past does not make you like her. When you had a choice, you made it. You stuck to it, and you owned your mistakes. You didn't hide behind your badge. You _owned it_. It is why you still have your badge, it is why you're still here. It is why you're my favorite troublemaker and I know that you can be counted on."

Andy stared at her. It was dark in the clearing. There was barely any moonlight to speak of, and they had only the glow of the city below. Still, somehow he could see her eyes flashing with emotion, echoing the passion and conviction with which she spoke. Air left his lungs in a rush, it trembled through him. He reached for her and drug her forward. His hands slid into her hair, gripped her head. Andy inhaled deeply and the mingling scents of her perfume and shampoo were so familiar, so comforting, he felt almost like weeping. His forehead rested against hers, and when her arms circled his middle, instead of pushing her away, Andy drew another thick breath. "_Sharon_."

"I know, honey," she whispered. She leaned into him, let her hands stroke up and down his back. She felt the tension in him, the way the muscles bunched. He was angry and filled with grief. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth. "It's okay."

"No," he rumbled, "it really isn't."

Andy clenched his eyes tightly shut. His nose nuzzled at her cheek, just a moment before he let his lips close over hers. Christ almighty she tasted just as sweet as he remembered. When her lips parted and she moaned quietly, he angled his mouth over hers and let himself get lost in the taste and feel of her. He had dated since Sharon, and he didn't imagine that she had been sitting around pining for him either, but there was just something… something in the feel of her, in the way that she gathered him close, in how they fit together, that went far deeper than any urge he had to scratch an itch, or use her to forget his pain. It was how he had known that she would come to him, how he had known that she would check to see that he was okay. In some ways they were still drawn together. She was still a flame, and he was still willing to be burned.

When his arms wrapped around her and he tucked his face against her neck, Sharon drew her arms away from him. She let them slide around his neck and gathered him close. She exhaled quietly. A hand slid into his hair, she let her fingers and nails stroke gently through the short cropped silver hairs just above his collar. She felt him shudder again and she held him closer. His arms were locked around her, she could feel the heat of his hands through her blazer. She turned her face, let her lips brush his ear and the side of his head. "_Andy_." She whispered his name, crooned softly.

"I don't want to be alone tonight," he rumbled softly. He drew back and looked down at her, dark eyes nearly black in the dimness of the clearing. A hand lifted, his thumb stroked the familiar curve of her cheek. He closed his eyes, shook his head. "So you should probably leave." He wouldn't use her, he gave too much of a damn for that.

"Hm." She hummed quietly. She lifted a hand and wrapped it around his wrist. "Have you been to a meeting?" When he nodded, she smiled. "Good." Sharon gave his arm a tug and moved around him, pulling him with her.

"Sharon?" He pulled back, drew her around. Andy shook his head, but there was a question in his eyes.

"It's okay," she said gently. "It's just tonight. I won't let you be alone." She gave his arm another gentle tug.

He continued to stare at her. There was only a gentle understanding in her eyes. An acceptance. Sympathy and caring. He took a step forward. His hand cupped her cheek. His head lowered again. His lips brushed hers, gentle this time, lingering. There was still something here, something between them, left unspoken and undefined. It went beyond simple compassion. It went beyond just caring. He thought, as his lips moved along her cheek, to her ear, that he could have loved her. Maybe he already did a little. Maybe that was why he kept wanting her. Even when he knew that he couldn't have her, when he knew that he shouldn't have her.

She sighed when he touched her, far gentler, with much more care. The initial desperation was waning, but it was only a lull. He needed to feel, and he needed to think, and he needed to _not_ be alone. She could give him that. If she could offer him nothing else of herself, she could help him tread the water of his grief and anger.

Despite what people thought of her, she had not lived twenty years worth of separation in complete loneliness. She didn't actively date either, but there were those, people that she spent time with… men who saw beyond the tough exterior and were willing to accept the limits of what she would, or could, offer them. She was, after all, still a married woman. Her husband was gone, out of the picture, but he was still a shield that she could use when it suited her.

With Andy it had been just a little different. She opened herself up to him more, and perhaps it was made easier by the fact that he already knew so much about her. He understood the hours she kept, the importance of her badge, and the emotional strain that wearing it could bring. He might not necessarily agree with or like her job, but on some level he got it. It was the first time that she had dated within the department, and she wouldn't regret it, even now. Just as she knew she wouldn't regret this. She wasn't pining for him, but nor could she ignore him when he needed her.

Sharon drew him with her, back to where they'd left their cars. They parted there so that he could follow her home in his own vehicle. Andy was tempted, more than once during the long drive out of the hills to turn off, go on back to his own place and pass the night in solitude. Every time the thought crossed his mind his stomach would churn. It was a physical pain, the thought of being alone. It kept him driving, kept his eyes focused on the taillights of Sharon's car in front of him.

When they reached the condo, he followed her upstairs. She made coffee, although he wasn't much in the mood for it. He stood, instead, staring out the glass balcony doors. She had a hell of a view. The city stretched out before them, and to one side, lay Griffith Park. When she suggested a shower, he took her hand and drew her down the hall with him. Andy remembered the way.

He set the water as hot as they could stand it, and while steam filled the bathroom, his hands parted her silk blouse. He tugged it from the waist of her skirt, pushed it from her shoulders. His hands followed its path, fingertips dancing gently along her arms. The sound of the shower muted the soft sighs and quiet moans as their hands explored familiar curves and planes. After the last article of clothing was removed, Andy stepped backward into the shower. He drew her with him, let his arms circle her.

Steam enveloped them. The heat of the water rained down. Pain and doubt, and fear were forgotten in the cloud of desire that settled around them. Theirs was heat and want, and need. In that moment he needed her more than he needed to breathe. He needed to feel her more than he needed to feel anything. He pressed her into the cool, marble tile of the shower wall. When her back arched and her head fell back, he buried his face against her neck and lost himself in the feel of her, in the way that their bodies melded together. His name was on her lips, and as he answered her plea for more, more of him, more of what he could offer her, he let the thought rattle through the back of his mind. It was only for tonight, but he wished that he could hold on to her. She wasn't his to keep, but he longed for that to be different.

Early morning light was streaming through her bedroom windows when Andy let himself think in anything resembling a coherent fashion. Hues of gray and blue danced through the room, chasing away the darkness of the night as he rose from Sharon's bed. He left her sleeping. He glanced back at her as he retrieved his clothes. She lay on her stomach, an arm curled beneath her, the other was bent, curled toward her face. A blanket was bunched around her hips, and in the faint light of the room, the pale ivory of her back seemed to gleam enticingly.

Andy dressed quickly. He tucked his tie into the pocket of his jacket and draped it across the foot of the bed. His shirt was untucked, and he left the top two buttons open. Andy eased down onto the edge of the bed, slipped back into his shoes. Only then did he turn, reach out with one hand and gently sweep her hair back from her face. He smiled when she sighed. His hand slid down her back, fingers gentle, the caress slight. She moved, shifted toward him. Andy leaned down and let his lips brush her cheek.

Her eyes fluttered, they opened and she blinked sleepily up at him. "Hey."

"Hey." He grinned at the thick, husky sound of her voice. Andy drew her hair back and tucked it behind her ear. "I have to go," he said quietly.

"Hm." She shifted where she lay, drew her arms up and wrapped them around the pillow beneath her head. Sharon smiled up at him. "Yes." She lifted her head and focused on him as the haze of sleep faded. Her hand reached out, stroked the length of his arm. "Are you hungry? I think I have eggs…"

"No." Andy leaned down, kissed her cheek again. "It's too damned early for that. Go back to sleep, sweetheart." Leaving her was even harder this time, then watching her walk away had been last year. But he knew that he wasn't what she needed. He would only hurt her again.

Sharon hummed. She gazed up at him, searched his face. "Are you going to be okay?" Her hand stroked the length of his arm again. "You don't have to run out just because the sun is up," she told him.

"I know." His fingers stroked the smooth, bare expanse of her back again. "But I gotta get home. I need to change, and I think… I should find a meeting. Then maybe call my sponsor again. Oh yeah, and go to work." His dark eyes sparkled. "I'll be okay," he told her, and knew that it was true. She had gotten him through the worst of it. "Sharon I…" His jaw clenched and he shook his head. There was a lot that he wanted to say, but knew that he shouldn't. Instead, he leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you," he whispered thickly.

Her eyes closed. Sharon curled a hand around his arm and leaned into him. Her lips touched his shoulder. "Andy, I will always be here for you," she said quietly. "We don't always agree, but I hope that you know, I…" She trailed off, drew a thin breath when her voice hitched. "I'm here," she finished quietly.

"I know." But he couldn't allow himself to get into the habit of using her to make himself feel better. She deserved more than that. She deserved better than him. Andy leaned down and let his lips touch hers. "Goodbye," he whispered.

She smiled, a bit sadly, against his lips. Sharon murmured her response, and then she watched as he drew away. He took his things and left her room. She sighed as she lay her head back against the pillow. It smelled of him. How long, this time, would his scent linger in her condo? Sharon closed her eyes and turned her face into the scent. She wanted him. But there was a line drawn in the sand, one they didn't seem to be able to cross. They stood on opposite sides of it, and it might as well have been a canyon.

They would be no good for each other as long as it existed.

Perhaps someday they would find a way to bridge that gap. They simply could not live their lives waiting for a tomorrow that might never happen. Time moved on. Life kept going. They kept going.


	5. Chapter 5

**Adrift and Apart**

**by Kadi  
>Rated: T<strong>

**Disclaimer: **This is not my sandbox. These are just my favorite toys. I promise to return them when finished.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5 - Time Marches On (Reloaded and Return to Sender Part 1)<strong>

He waited until the others left or were otherwise distracted. Only then did Andy venture into the Chief's office. Well, Sharon's office now, he supposed. That was going to take some getting used to. He still hadn't wrapped his head around the fact that the Chief was gone, and now he was supposed to get used to the idea that Sharon was his boss? That was a mind bender if ever he had encountered one.

There had always been a thought in the back of his head. Small, one he rarely let himself listen to. It told him that someday she would leave Internal Affairs. Or he would retire. Someday the thing that was keeping them apart would be gone, and maybe he would ask her out, and this time she would accept. They would try again, and whatever happened, however it turned out, it would be a real chance.

When he thought about her leaving FID, it wasn't like this. He never imagined that she would be sliding into a role in Major Crimes or that he would be reporting to her. Hell, instead of getting smaller, he wondered if that line between them had just gotten a lot bigger.

Andy looked around the office as he stepped inside. There were boxes on the chairs in front of the desk, another on the desk itself. Her things had finally been delivered from the fifth floor. He watched her for a moment, as she moved around the office, putting things in their place and arranging them how she liked. His gaze drifted, for just a moment, beyond the glass windows that lined her office. The kid was still slumped in a chair, sulking and unhappy.

When asked about it earlier, Sharon said she would deal with Rusty Beck. Andy wasn't sure what she had in mind, but that sarcastic little runt was still hanging around the Murder Room. He decided to let her deal with it. Sharon obviously had something in mind for the kid.

Andy shoved his hands into his pockets and moved closer to her desk. His brows drew together in a frown. He sighed. He watched her lift a framed certificate to hang on the wall. Andy walked over and lifted it out of her hand. He affixed it on the nail that was already in place and straightened it. "You couldn't warn me," he asked quietly.

"I didn't have a lot of warning myself," Sharon replied in kind. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "I'm sorry. I know you're upset about it." They all were. None of them were particularly fond of her. Then there was Andy. He was different. _They_ were different, but even he was having a problem dealing with her transfer.

"I'm not upset." He stepped back, moved to lean against the credenza behind her desk. "I'm pissed as hell. Dammit, Sharon…" He ran a hand over his hair. They had gotten back on friendly terms, more or less, after the Gail Meyers case. They had accepted what they couldn't have, and figured they would take what they could get. If that meant working together sometimes, while she was helping out with the lawsuit, then so be it. They made the best of it. They also figured out that they kind of did okay at it. But this was different.

She smiled, just a bit sadly at him. "It isn't that difficult Andy." Sharon walked over and took another frame out of a box. "I'm your boss. The rest is just… it's in the past." She shrugged at him. It was the only way that this would work. "I know it may be awkward at first, but we're both adults. We've been doing this a long time, and I think by now we should be well equipped with being able to conduct ourselves in a manner that—"

"Yeah okay." Andy cut her off before she could go on. She was getting dangerously close to spouting the rules. Not, of course, that there was any rule against them being together. They were both just old school. Somethings you didn't do. Some lines you didn't cross.

Even if they were willing to try it, there was a lot more at stake now. If it didn't work, and history told them that there was a chance that it wouldn't, they couldn't just retreat to their own divisions to lick their wounds in solitude. Not this time. This time their relationship would end up being front and center, their triumphs or their failures would be on display for the entire team. That wasn't something that Andy thought he could handle. Still, looking at her every day, being near her, and watching that line get wider and wider… he wasn't so sure about that either.

Sharon held the frame in her hand while she studied him. She sighed. "Andy, I'm not going to apologize to you for taking a great opportunity when it presented itself. I know you're unhappy with it. I know that _all _of you are unhappy with this transfer, but it is what it is. I'm going to make the best of it, and I expect the rest of you to do the same."

She was getting close to the end of her patience. Andy grinned. She wasn't easy to rile, but when she got there… well, it was a bit amusing to watch. Even when it was turned on him. He supposed she was already riled enough, thanks to his partner. Provenza was being pretty vocal about his displeasure. Andy shook his head. "Is that your official response, Captain?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "It is. Take it or leave it, Lieutenant."

"I won't tell you what I'd like to do." He clasped his hand against his lap and studied her. "Okay fine. You can be the boss. Just don't expect me to always play nice."

"Thank you." Her nose wrinkled. "Your permission means so much." Sharon turned and hung the second frame, this one beneath the first. "I never expect you to play nice, Andy. It's just not in your makeup."

"Hey, I can be a nice guy." He pointed a finger at her. "I can be so nice it'll make your head spin."

"Really?" Her brows lifted. "Well, I do look forward to seeing that."

There was just too much amusement in her gaze. Too much triumph. Andy swore quietly. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I walked right into that, didn't I?"

"You did." She laughed as she crossed the room to begin sorting through another box. "I'm sorry, Andy, really. I'd have warned you if I could. Right now, though, I don't have a lot of time to discuss it. I want to get this all put away, and then I have to get our young Mr. Beck settled at home."

His brows climbed toward his hairline. Andy straightened. "You're taking him home with you?" He glanced toward where the kid was sulking. "Is that a good idea?"

"It's temporary." Sharon shrugged. "DCFS is having a hard time finding a placement for him, and he's a bit of a flight risk. I'll take him home with me, perhaps get his cooperation, maybe even his trust, and then when DCFS goes to place in a more permanent home, maybe he will be willing to stay there."

"Yeah, but Sharon…" Andy shook his head. "You don't know anything about this kid. He could be dangerous. He was living on the street for months. Hell, you could be stuck with him for weeks."

"I could." She smiled. "He's a child, Andy. Just a scared, frightened little boy. He needs someone to believe in him. He needs to be able to trust at least one person. He doesn't trust the police, he doesn't trust his social worker. He's right, the only thing we want from him right now is his testimony against Phillip Stroh. Other than that, no one really seems to care what happens to him. That isn't a situation that I am willing to allow to continue. Rusty needs to feel safe. If nothing else, I can provide him with that… even for a short time."

"You're something else. You know that?" Andy straightened and pushed away from the credenza. "Just do me a favor, watch your back with him. There's still a lot we don't know about this kid."

She rolled her eyes at the implication, but nodded. "I can do that." Sharon sorted through the box in front of her. "Now then, I believe you have a report to finish, Lieutenant."

"Oh my god." He grunted. "You're going to be one of _those_ bosses aren't you?" He made a face at her and walked toward the door. "Just for that, you're on your own with Provenza."

She snorted a little laugh. "Oh, like you were going to be able to contain him anyway." She slanted an amused look at him. "I can handle Lieutenant Provenza. I would recommend that you keep your head in your own game, Lieutenant."

He grumbled at her. When he reached the door, his hand rested against the knob for a moment. Andy glanced back. "Oh hey, about Sykes…" He smirked. "You didn't have to be so desperate. There was already someone here who likes you."

"Oh?" Her brows lifted. Sharon's eyes lit and sparkled happily. A smile curved her lips. "You couldn't tell me before?"

"Well…" He shrugged. "I thought it went kind of without saying. You know…" His dark eyes glittered playfully. "Buzz likes everyone." Andy winked at her and stepped out of her office, the sound of her laughter echoed behind him. Maybe it wouldn't be _that_ bad, this transfer. It just wouldn't be easy.

**MCMCMC**

As it turned out, it was the farthest thing from easy. In those first weeks after Sharon's transfer, there were moments when Andy wanted to throw in the towel. Moments when he wanted to turn in his transfer papers and get the hell away from Sharon and her rules. There were times when she wanted to shake him. Days when she just wanted to wrap her hands around his arms and give him a good, hard, shove.

No, it wasn't easy. They had to find their rhythm. They stumbled over each other a few times, but when it finally came, it came on strong. They worked well together. He could finish her thoughts as easily as she could finish his sentences, and knowing each other as well as they did leant itself toward being able to communicate silently. Just a glance, the meeting of their eyes, and they could say a lot, without saying anything at all. He could read her, and she him.

She still worried about him, she still cared about him. Those were emotions that flowed both ways. Somehow, with the passing months, they found their way toward becoming friends. That was something that neither of them previously thought possible. There was still a line separating them, but they found a way to stand on it, if not cross it completely.

Sharon told herself that going with Andy to his daughter's wedding was something that she would do for any friend. If she happened to enjoy the way that he held her when they danced that evening, then she kept those thoughts to herself.

Andy convinced himself that wanting to throttle Jack when he showed back up in town had little to do without how he felt about Sharon, and everything to do with the fact that the guy was a loud mouth and a loser. Andy didn't feel too bad when he took off again, and if he stayed a little closer to Sharon than usual in those weeks following Jack's departure, well, he told himself it was about the sadness he saw in her eyes. She was his friend, and it was his job to make her feel better.

Rusty's letters threw all of their lives into turmoil. Suddenly there was a very real threat looming over the kid's head. Sharon's too, although she spent all of her time worried about her foster son. There was another line that was blurring, Andy had watched for months as it disappeared. She had gotten attached to that kid, and he was pretty sure it went both ways, but Andy knew she absolutely loved that boy. She wouldn't be able to stand it if anything happened to Rusty. Andy promised himself that he wouldn't let it come to that, and if keeping an extra eye on Rusty meant keeping an extra eye on Sharon, he was okay with that too.

For Sharon, life became about protecting Rusty. Keeping Rusty safe. Taking care of Rusty. She thought of little else during the day, and thoughts of his safety kept her up at night. Moments with Andy were a respite. They were few and far between, she wasn't comfortable leaving Rusty alone for too long, even with his protection detail, but it was good to get away. A quiet meal, an adult conversation. He could still make her laugh. That was something that she desperately needed in those dark days that they spent looking for Rusty's stalker.

She needed a friend, and Andy became that for her. He was there when she needed him, solid and strong, and she began to count on it. She began to look to him when her doubt and her fear became too much, and she never had to question that he would be there.

The line that they were standing on was starting to chip away, slowly, and just a piece at a time, but it was disappearing.

**MCMCMC**

She almost lost him. She went against every instinct that she had, and gave in to the plan to put Rusty back on the street as bait for their letter writer. She almost lost him in the process. Ignoring her instincts, that was not a mistake that she would ever make again.

Sharon stepped into the hall, her eyes followed Rusty as he left, flanked by Lieutenant Provenza and Detective Sanchez. Her jaw clenched tightly, she took thin, measured breaths through her nose. Packing his bag and sending him away was the hardest thing that she had done in recent memory. He looked back when they reached the elevator and Sharon smiled. She lifted her hand and waved. If it was trembling, she hoped that he didn't notice.

The officers that were guarding her condo went with them. Rusty's protection would follow him to the Lieutenant's house. Sharon had no need of them, she was armed. She didn't really believe that Wade Weller would risk circling back to the condo anyway. She wasn't willing to risk Rusty on that belief, however, which was why she had given in to Chief Taylor's demands. That and keeping him. Had she not agreed to allowing him to stay with the Lieutenant, the Chief was more than willing to send him away.

There was a part of Sharon that wondered if that would be best for him. He could get away from all of the bitter and bad memories of his life in Los Angeles. The boarding school in Portland was a top facility. He would get the best education, tuition assistance… the offer was still on the table. Sharon wanted him to have only the very best in life, but she also wanted him close. In Portland she wouldn't know if he was safe. She wouldn't see him again. It was a one way trip, and not until the Trial was over would she see him again. Her boy. Her son.

Maybe it was selfish, holding onto him as tightly as she was. She just couldn't seem to let him go. Rusty didn't want to go either. Sharon held on to _that_ too.

Her smile felt frozen as she watched him step into the elevator with the others. Sharon waited until the doors closed again before she turned. She stepped into her apartment and pushed the door closed behind her. She leaned back against it and took a shuddering, painful breath. Her stomach twisted painfully. Her throat closed with a keen, terrible ache. She held on to the door frame with one hand, gripped it tightly when she felt as though her knees were going to buckle beneath her.

A knock at the door made her jump. Sharon twisted around, ignored the tears that were already sliding down her cheeks. "_Rusty_." He could not have already given his security the slip. Surely Detective Sanchez had not let him out of his sight. She struggled to get the door open again. Sharon stumbled a bit as she pulled it open, only to realize that it was not Rusty at all.

Andy was only waiting for Provenza to tell him that they had the kid in hand before he came upstairs. His Partner didn't know that he was there, and that was how he liked it. He expected that she would be upset with Rusty's leaving, on top of everything that happened that day. God only knew that she had managed to scare the hell out of him that afternoon. Andy always knew that when it came down to it, Sharon would put herself between Rusty and danger and not give it a second thought. He had just always hoped it would never come to that.

He had seen her after the incident, but it was hurried, and there was too much to do. He had to satisfy himself with laying eyes on her. Now, with the day's end, he could move beyond that. He could assure himself that she was okay, and maybe, he could hold her together a bit. Just as she had once held him together.

His arm slipped around her waist as he stepped forward, into the condo. Andy took the door out of her hand and as they moved beyond it, he pushed it closed behind him. He flipped the deadbolt, because despite their being armed, he would not take any chances with her life.

Andy felt the tremor that ran through her. His gaze lowered, he looked into her moist, tear-filled eyes. He saw her pain, her fear. His hand moved into her hair to grip the back of her head. Andy drew her close. His lips settled against her temple. "I know," he whispered. "It's okay."

Her hands curled into the lapels of his jacket. Sharon pressed her face into his neck. She drew a ragged breath and ached with it. Her teeth bit into her bottom lip. She moaned quietly. The pressure inside of her was building to the point of pain. "_Andy_." Sharon shook her head, the words wouldn't come. It was all simply too much.

He hummed quietly. Andy let his hands slide up and down her back. When she shuddered against him, he lifted her. He walked around toward her sofa and lowered both of them on to it. He sat sideways and leaned back, his arms and legs wrapped around her as she curled against him. It was pain and it was fear, and she could handle a lot, but she had to feel this if she was going to be any good at all to Rusty. She had to feel it, if she was going to put it aside enough to capture the son of a bitch that was threatening her kid.

Feeling it was the hard part.

His hands stroked her back. They stroked her arms. His fingers combed through her hair. His lips moved against her temple, and against the dampness of her cheeks. They brushed the corner of her mouth, and then over the trembling curve of her lips. He kissed the tip of her nose and the top of her head. Andy didn't let her go, he held her while the force of her fear and her pain swept over her.

This was not just a bad case. It was not only a close call. It was her child. Her son. The boy that was as much a part of her heart as the children that she had given birth to. She had feared for his safety, she still feared for it, and she had almost lost him. She had scared the hell out of him by taking on the threat by herself, and he assuaged that ache by feeling her against him, warm and safe, and alive.

She sniffled quietly. Her tears had stopped. It was easy to feel safe, to feel cared for, with him holding her. She never had any doubt that it felt good to be held by him. It was everything else in their lives that seemed to make things difficult for them. Sharon exhaled quietly. What they had, this bond that kept drawing them together, she didn't understand it. She only knew that he was beside her, every day. He was there when she needed him. He was with her now. Need him she did.

"_Andy_."

The whisper of his name, it was barely audible, but the low, emotion filled inflection tugged at his heart. She shifted against him, let her arm slide around his middle. Her head lifted and he looked into her eyes. They were dark, still pained, but there was an underlying need burning in them. His hand cupped her cheek. His thumb stroked the familiar curve of her bottom lip.

The line between them disappeared just a little bit more.

He drew her to him, let his lips move against hers as he rumbled quietly, "It's only tonight." He could give her something else to hold on to in the darkness of this night. "Just tonight, Sharon."

Another tremor moved through her. Her eyes filled again. He was always there when she needed him. She only wished that she could have him. Perhaps she could. Maybe one day they would be ready. It was not today. It was not tonight. Tonight there was pain and doubt, there was fear and anger. Hope seemed so very far away. She should be stronger, she knew, but she had been strong for a very long time. She needed more than strength, and he was here. He was solid, warm, and in him there was strength.

Sharon swallowed hard. She nodded once. She tipped her face closer to his. "Just tonight," She whispered. She knew that she would take what he could offer, she would pull it around herself like a blanket, and leave the rest of the world lost to the cold.

He sat up with her as their lips met again. It was a slow kiss, lingering, and almost sweet, save for the salt of her tears. He set her away from him as he rose. Then he offered her his hand. If this was the only way that he could love her, then it was what he would do. Andy drew her up and she moved easily into his side when his arm wrapped around her shoulders.

He would love her tonight, and then he would let her go again. It's what she needed from him. Some might question his sanity. Hell, sometimes _he_ questioned his sanity. He couldn't walk away from her. He would stand beside her in any way that she would allow, even if that meant he was just her trusty, right hand man. It only reminded him of the old verse _Love is patient, love is kind_. No, Andy thought… it was waiting. It was an ache. It was hope. It was standing vigil and being ready.

It was kissing away her tears as he tugged at her clothes. It was in the tremble of her hands as they worked open the buttons of his shirt. The quiet sighs and low moans, and the sound of his name on her lips as they moved together on the bed. It was in the way the low light from the lamp shined in her hair as he swept it back from her face and her neck, and the gleam of her eyes as she looked down at him from where she sat astride his lap.

He took his time with her. He loved her slowly and in the best way that he knew how. He couldn't promise her his heart. She wasn't ready to accept it. What he did promise her, in the darkest hours of the night, as they lay in a tangle of arms and legs, words punctuated with slow kisses and quiet sighs, was that he would always be there for her. Even at the expense of himself.

Love was waiting. Love was hope. Someday she would be ready. They would try again. This time, they would get it right.


	6. Chapter 6

**Adrift and Apart**

**by Kadi  
>Rated: T<strong>

**Disclaimer: **This is not my sandbox. These are just my favorite toys. I promise to return them when finished.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6 - Why Can't This Be Love? (Acting Out and Internal Affairs)<strong>

She didn't want to talk about it. Those were the words out of Sharon's mouth when he dropped her off after the ballet. _Not yet_, she told him. She needed to think, she needed to process everything that Rusty and Nicole pointed out to them.

Andy hadn't really thought about it in those terms either, but hearing Rusty point out all the time that they spent together, all the places that they went, and all of the things that they did… just the two of them, well, he had to admit… it sounded a hell of a lot like dating. It sounded a hell of a lot like the dates that they used to go on, a few years ago, when they were actually dating.

They were friends. Very good friends, with a complicated history that they couldn't turn their backs on, and a bond that still drew them together from time to time. But friends, yes, they had become friends and he would always be there for her in that way.

He waited three days for her to decide to speak to him again. Three very hard, very impatient days. She asked him to breakfast at their favorite little roadside place. It was a cafe that had been around for practically forever. Andy had his hands wrapped around a cup of coffee when she dropped into the booth in front of him. He had gotten there early, unable to sleep and unable to wait, he sat drinking coffee while he waited for her to join him.

"We are not dating."

Those were words out of her mouth as she joined him. Sharon stared at him. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and she sighed. The only problem was, they were. She just hadn't realized it, or if she had, she ignored it. Dammit, she had dated him before, and it didn't feel like this. It was wild and passionate, and they had argued, and made up, and then it was over… and yet, here they sat.

It was so entirely different, their relationship now. They still argued. He still infuriated her. Just as she annoyed him. But they talked it out and they made up, and they were still there for each other when needed. Her tongue swept out, moistening her lips. Sharon remained silent while the waitress came and placed a cup of coffee in front of her. They were regulars here.

"Then what are we?" Andy held her gaze. "Because you can't just say that we're friends. Unless you want to qualify us as friends that just happen to fall into bed whenever we can't handle what the world is throwing at us."

Her eyes widened. They had an agreement. Those incidents had never happened, except that they had, and they both remembered it. She wrapped her hands around her coffee cup and sighed. "What are you suggesting then? That we pick up where we left off? Andy, we can't do that. The reasons that we broke up still exist."

"No, actually, they don't." He leaned forward. One of his hands slid across the table to curl around her wrist. "You're not FID anymore. If you're worried about being my boss, then I'll transfer."

"I'm not going to let you transfer." Sharon looked down. She studied the contents of her cup and took a deep breath. "At least…" She exhaled quietly. Her lips felt slightly numb. She turned the cup in her hands. "Not unless _this_ gets in the way of how we do our jobs." Sharon looked up at him through her lashes, managed a small shrug. "We've managed it this long… that is, if Rusty's theory is correct."

"Always knew he was a smart kid." His hand slid down to hold hers. "So what you're saying is…"

She turned her hand over in his. "Everyone seems to think we're already dating. I've been thinking back, looking at it from their point of view. There's a reason your partner gets so frustrated with you when I'm around. There's something about the way that the others smile at us, when we're too wrapped up in the moment to notice, and yes… there's also everything that Rusty pointed out. I suppose I never really thought about how our relationship would look to others, and maybe this is my fault. Maybe I was foolish to think that I could have all of those parts of you without offering something of myself in return. I think… I was just being selfish."

"You weren't ready." Andy shrugged at her. "There's nothing wrong with that. I'm not really sure you were ready a few years ago. I don't think I was either. I can admit that I'm enough of an idiot that I had to know what it felt like to lose you to be able to appreciate what I had."

"_Andy_." She moved from her seat, only to slide into the booth beside him. "You didn't lose me, I was always here." He could be right, though. She wasn't ready for the firestorm of emotion that being with him produced. Things had changed, however. They had changed. Together and apart, they were both stronger. "I will always be here, however you need me."

He reached for her hand again, let their fingers twine together. Andy looked down at her. "Yeah." They hadn't really been apart. It was just a matter of recognizing it. "Now I need you to let me love you," he said quietly.

Sharon drew her bottom lip between her teeth. She looked up at him. Her heart fluttered. She recognized the emotion burning in his eyes, realized she had been seeing it all along. It was always there, always shining back at her. She only had to accept it. Air left her lungs in a rush that left her feeling dizzy. She cupped his cheek as she leaned in to him. "Yes," she whispered. She needed him. She wanted him. Finally, she felt like she could have him.

He tipped her chin up, their lips touched, briefly, in hardly a kiss and barely a caress. He was mindful of their surroundings. His nose brushed at her cheek, nuzzled gently. He felt his heart swell. It was hope, and light, and warmth. "Sharon…" His lips moved across her cheek. Her answering hum made him smile.

Her eye remained closed. She curled a hand around his wrist and leaned into his side. "I know," she said, just a bit breathy. She loved him. She had fallen once, and now she felt free to allow herself to feel it. She hummed again and turned her face into his shoulder. "No one can know." Sharon lifted her head when she realized how that might sound. "I mean, I want to be sure… I _am_ sure, of course I'm sure, but you and I are complicated, and there are so many factors to take into consideration, and…" She groaned. Sharon leaned forward against the table and covered her face with her hands. She was really terrible at this.

Andy laughed. It was a low, rumbling sound that vibrated through him. His arm curled around her waist. He leaned forward beside her and let his lips touch the side of her head. "I get it. You're my boss. That complicates it. You have to report it, but we don't have to tell anyone else. You know, it doesn't bother me. I kind of like the idea of having you all to myself. At least for a while. Besides, like you said, everyone already thinks they know what is going on."

She offered a relieved smile. She was thankful, not for the first time, that he knew her so well. Perhaps that was what was missing the first time. They hadn't really known each other very well. "Rusty will need to know," she pointed out. "I have no problem with the kids knowing. The rest can wait. I think I want you to myself for a while too."

His dark eyes glittered. "So then, what you're saying is…"

"Let's see where this is going." She said softly. "I think maybe it's time we tried again."

He caught her lips in another soft kiss, but it was the ringing of both their phones that interrupted them. He laughed quietly. "There's a reason it's taken us so damned long…"

Sharon chuckled quietly. "The dirtbags of the world are not conspiring against you."

Andy sighed as he turned his phone so that she could see the caller ID. "No, but Provenza is."

She laughed outright as she reached for her own phone. Taylor was calling her. Provenza was calling him. That could only mean one thing. Their personal interlude was over. It was time to return to reality. Sharon slid out of the booth as she answered the call. "Yes, Chief, what can I do for you this morning?"

Andy waited for her pause to answer his own phone. "What?" He was a lot less cheerful in his greeting. When she made a face at him, he just grinned crookedly. He was still the same asshole he had always been, he was just the ass that was in love with her. He stood while she gathered her things, the phone tucked between her ear and shoulder. Andy dropped a few bills onto the table to cover their coffee and followed her as she left the cafe.

At her car, Andy held his phone away from his ear. Provenza continued to drone on, filling him in on the case that they'd just caught. He pulled open her door for her and dropped a kiss onto her mouth before walking away.

They could do this. They could make it work. It was already working.

**MCMCMCMCMCMC**

It had the power to tear them apart. It could have undone all the work, and all the time, and all of the many weeks, months, and years of closeness that they had acquired. He was pissed off at the situation, and didn't like having Professional Standards sniffing around their Murder Room any better than the rest of them. Julio's brush with her former team had left a cloud hanging over the entire division until finally he was cleared. With the situation settled, they could all breathe a little easier.

It was a reminder, though, of who she was and where she had come from. Then he had looked at her, and he had smiled. Sharon felt a little better about it all. She was still worried about Julio and she would be keeping a closer eye on him, _and_ his temper, but she left it at the office.

There was much more to deal with at home, however. She needed to sit Rusty down and find out what he'd discussed with Jack that morning and make sure that he was okay. She was still rattled by it. Upset and disappointed. Her marriage was over, but Jack was still finding ways of wreaking havoc in her life. This time, however, she had walked away from him. His words were all too familiar, she had heard it all before, many times. Sharon didn't want to consider if he was serious about it this time, or if he really felt the sorrow of his actions. She was done. She had moved on.

After speaking with Rusty, and being reminded again at just how resilient and wonderful her son was, Sharon called Andy. She still needed to tell him about Jack, and she imagined that he wouldn't be pleased about it. She should have changed the damned locks. That was what he would point out to her. Sharon just never really thought about it.

She had a busy year. Changing the locks on her door was the last thing on her mind.

Dinner was already in the oven by the time that Andy arrived at her condo that evening. Sharon had changed into a soft sweater and a pair of leggings. She met him at the door with a smile and a kiss. The smell of roasting potatoes and onions filled the apartment. Sharon grinned when she saw realization light his eyes. "Get in here." She tugged him inside and closed the door behind him.

"I love it when you cook." He curled an arm around her waist and pulled her against him. His lips found hers again. His hand moved into her hair as it lingered, slow and unhurried. "Been wanting to do that all day," he muttered against her mouth.

"Hm." Her lips curved. "I've been wanting you to do that all day." Sharon took his hand and walked toward the sofa with him. She had sprayed it down and flipped the cushions, but she still thought that it wreaked of stale alcohol. Rusty assured her that he couldn't smell anything, and maybe it was only her, but Sharon was seriously considering replacing the sofa.

"Where's the kid?" Andy looked around as they sat down. Rusty's car was downstairs, he spotted it when he parked in the garage, alongside Sharon's silver sedan.

"In his room. He'll join us for dinner." She shrugged. "He doesn't want to be witness to the odd dating rituals of the very weird old people in his life." Sharon rolled her eyes at him. She drew her legs up and leaned against his side. "Those were his exact words. I gathered from them that he's okay with us, but he doesn't want to see it."

Andy snorted quietly. "He's still a comedian." He reached up and swept a lock of hair behind her ear. "What's going on?" She looked upset about something, bothered. "Julio's fine, Mike checked on him earlier, so if you're still worried about him…"

"I am, but no, I'm sure that he's fine. I'm more worried that his temper will get the better of him before he can take advantage of the opportunity he's been given." She shifted on the sofa, turned so that she was facing him, and rested her elbow against the back of it. "Rusty's emergency last night. That's what we need to talk about."

"The kid okay?" His brows drew together in a frown.

"He is, surprisingly." Sharon drew a breath. "Jack was the emergency. He was here. He was drunk."

She filled him in on everything. She spoke in quick, succinct sentences. She didn't linger and she didn't embellish. When she was finished, she drew her bottom lip between her teeth and shrugged. Andy studied her, she was exhausted, emotionally drained, from both encounters. Julio and Jack. "Come here." He tugged her closer, settled her across his lap. It pissed him off, but he was angry _for_ her, not _at_ her. Andy settled back on the sofa, sank further into the cushions. He toed out of his shoes and lifted his feet onto her coffee table. His arms wrapped around her. "Sounds like you had a bad day," he said quietly.

There was a part of her that almost wanted to cry. She burrowed closer to him and didn't even care that his feet were on the coffee table. She tucked her face against his neck and inhaled. She figured that he was right, it had been a horrible few days. The situation with Jack hadn't helped any. "It's getting better now." The feel of his hand in her hair, fingers gently stroking her scalp, made her hum in delight.

"Good." Andy wrapped his other hand around hers, let their fingers twine. His thumb stroked the inside edge of her wrist. He turned his face into her hair, let his lips brush her temple. "So, how long until we have to move again?"

She chuckled quietly. "Half an hour." It would take that long for dinner to be ready. "What did you have in mind?"

"Not much." Andy leaned sideways on the sofa and pulled her with him. He settled her atop him and got comfortable. They were both tired. It was going to be an early night, he knew. "Just looking for a little pillow time with my girl."

"Hm." She wriggled close, shifted until she was comfortable. Sharon was nestled in, half on top of him, with the back of the sofa behind her. Her hand stroked up his chest. She reached up and loosened his tie for him. "Have I mentioned lately," she said softly, "that I love you?"

"A couple of times." He slanted a look at her and grinned. "It's been a few days. Good thing my ego isn't fragile." When she laughed, he smiled. His hand moved into her hair again. "I love you, even when you neglect me," he teased. It had her poking his side, but he only grinned that much wider.

"Your ego isn't fragile, honey. It's enormous." She huffed a sigh, but relaxed against him again. "It needs pruning. Remind me to do that later."

"Yeah," he smirked. "Sure. You bet'cha sweetheart. I'm going to make a note of that." He reminded himself to distract her instead. She was easily distracted, as he recalled, when he really put his mind to it. "So I was thinking," he said. "It's been a while since we've been camping. Maybe with everything that's gone on lately, we can get out of the city for a couple of nights. Drive out to the desert, spend a couple of nights looking at the stars."

Her lips pursed while she thought about it. "Whatever will we do with the Provenza while we're gone? That is, assuming of course, that we can get away for more than five minutes without one of our phones ringing."

"Hey, we're both entitled to our vacation days." His eyes closed. "Use 'em or lose 'em." The department only allowed them to bank so many and roll them over from year to year. The excess was lost.

"Mmhm." She couldn't dispute that. Sharon lifted her head and looked at him. "At the same time?" Her brows lifted. Amusement danced in her eyes. "Don't you think that's going to look just a little bit obvious?"

"Nah. I've got it all worked out. I'll put in for vacation, you call in sick." He cracked his eyes open and grinned at her. When her eyes narrowed, he sighed. "Okay fine. You put in for the vacation, and I'll call in sick."

She snorted with quiet laughter as she lay down against him again. "It's so ridiculous it might actually work. Fine. We'll try it your way, but you get to deal with the fall out. As far as anyone knows, I was actually on vacation." She waited for him to grunt in agreement before she added, "or we could just go and not give a damn what they think. I'm fairly certain that we've already passed _obvious _and moved right into _old news_."

"Have we?" Andy grinned at that idea. "You know, you could be right about that. Provenza isn't even giving me a hard time about it anymore. I think the shiny has worn off. He's got something else to focus on."

"Exactly." Her lips moved, trailing kisses along his neck. "So you make it happen. I'll arrange the time off." She lifted her head and pointed a finger at him. "Bearing in mind that there are no emergencies and we are not needed."

"Yeah, that's a given." He pulled her back down. "Don't spoil the mood. You just agreed to go public. I'm basking here. Let me bask, Sharon."

"Oh." She kissed the tip of his chin. "I'm sorry. Bask away honey."

"Too late. You ruined it." He sighed, but when she poked his side, he gathered her closer. His hand settled against her hip. "You know, if you wanted to make it up to me…"

"My office is still off limits," she drawled, all without opening her eyes.

"Dammit." Andy sighed again. "I had to try." The desk in her office was always going to be off limits, but he was never going to stop trying to change her mind. It was all part of the fun. His lips brushed the top of her head again. He let himself relax a little more, drifting a bit, as the tension of the last few days left both of them.

He didn't comment on the incident with Jack. He listened, but he didn't judge. He accepted the situation with Julio. When she expected an argument or a discussion, he held her instead. He talked about plans for the future, rather than looking back.

Four years ago it would have been an entirely different result. He'd have questioned her judgement and argued with her about it. She'd have been angry at him or questioning her, hurt that he didn't trust her. Tonight she was prepared for him to have an opinion, she would have accepted his questioning, and expected him to be irritated at both situations. She would have seen it for what it was, his passionate nature, the depth of his care for those around him. Sharon smiled as she considered how far they had come.

He had been lover. He had become her friend. Now he was her partner. He was all of that and more.

The start of it was buried in anger and heat, explosive and unpredictable. Time had tempered them. It brought them closer together. It gave them the opportunity to learn. To find one another. To love.

They drifted through the years, together and apart, waiting for a moment just like this one. It was more than just a quite respite. It was acceptance. It was a beginning.

~_FIN_


End file.
